The opportunity to GROW bigger and stronger and finally do your very best work in every area of your life is here! In this Ready to Grow series, we are going to dive into the core areas you need to focus on in order to GROW bigger and stronger and finally do your very best work in every area of your life! In this Ready to Grow series, we are going to focus on the very core things it takes to GROW! You want to juggle it all, I get it. But how? From laundry, groceries, dinner, homework, emails, clients, hugs, exercise, and date night… How do you become the woman you need to be in order to get it all done? You start right here, right now, and then you GROW. Lets dive into day three of the Ready to Grow series so we can tackle our fears and gain some major confidence in our lives.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
There’s nothing better than being able to look back to see how far you have come and know that you are growing. One of the biggest things that I know that hold all of us back from growing is our fears. I’ve had some major fears that I’ve had to overcome and that I’ve had to battle in so many different phases of my life. These fears are just sitting there waiting for me to give in to them. They want to hold me back.
They come up in each teeny tiny piece of your life. In your home, business, family, relationships, parenting. There are so many fears wrapped up in every little nook and cranny of your day and you probably don’t even know it.
How to Conquer Your Fears and Gain More Confidence
I’m going to show you how you can tackle these fears and gain confidence. When you face these fears you will grow exponentially. For this to work, you need to get out of your comfort zone and move outside that place that makes you feel safe.
If you want to THRIVE that means you have to GROW.
Safety is a place where we’re wired to live in so that we can continue to live. But in my opinion, it’s really not that much of living, it’s more like just surviving.
3 Steps to Gain More Confidence So You Can Grow
I’m going to give you a 3-step system inside of today’s post to help you tackle those fears. The truth of the matter is what you really need to do is gain confidence. You’ll have to begin to trust yourself. You need to trust systems as a key ingredient. Systems are the one and only component that you’re currently missing to be able to have the success that you’re looking for in your home and business.
I would love for you to come on over to our Facebook group and let us know what fears are holding you back so we can rally around you. We have created a really great community where you can find support and advice to help you grow.
Also, if you are ready to tackle all your fears and gain even more confidence beyond this post then you need to find out more details on the Systemize Your Life Academy. I’ll show you how you can get systems in your business so you can close your laptop when your kids get home from school and so you don’t have to be on your phone during their sports activities. I’ll show you how you don’t have to stay up past bedtime every single night cleaning or go through the drive-thru every other day so you can just get your family fed. I want to help you grow and gain more confidence in every area of your life.
But today I just want you to get started by making the decision to grow. You can simply start with these three parts. They will help you gain confidence and overcome your fears so you can grow exponentially.
The Pre-Homework- Pin-Point Your Fears
If you have acknowledged your fears then you’re even further ahead of the game. If you haven’t acknowledged your fears but you know that something is holding you back you have a little bit of pre-homework. I want you to do some reflection. I want you to release it and just start writing things down and see what comes out on paper.
Sometimes having really good music like the Inspired Chill playlist on Apple, which I love so very much, really gets your juices flowing. It can be really really helpful for you if you’re trying to narrow in on something like what fears are holding you back.
Another really great place to do that is if you have the Horatio Dream Planner. Inside there’s a specific section that talks about your fears. You don’t have to have one of their planners, there’s actually a printable that you can download that helps you go through your fears and set up your dreams. Whatever way you need to do it is fine, just find a way to physically write out these things.
Once those fears are acknowledged, here’s the first thing that you need to do.
Step # 1 – Try New Things Daily
In order to build confidence with yourself that you are capable of doing hard and scary things, you need to try something new every single day.
The tiniest things you can try and do will help you build confidence. Maybe you don’t even know that you’re afraid. Maybe you’re afraid to go out in public without your makeup on? Maybe you are afraid that if your new system becomes un-orderly you will get bogged down by all the things you have to do? If you let the thing be out of place and see what happens maybe it won’t be so bad.
It could also look like biting your tongue in a specific situation where you normally input a response. The new thing that you’re going to try to do is actually not have something to say and to sit on it and be slow to speak.
I’ve identified one of my fears as being defenseless. I went through a really hard time in my life where I had to mentally and physically defend myself and I never ever ever want to put myself in that position again. It has caused me to be super defensive a lot of the time. That fear has begun to leech itself into different places in my marriage, friendships, and even my parenting. I was like okay I’m acting defensively because of a fear. What it looks like for me trying something new is just not saying anything and being quiet when I want to insert myself.
The beauty of knowing myself so well is being able to tell myself that I want to change a small part of myself and try something new. I’m able to grow and gain confidence. Every time I do it successfully, I’m soo proud of myself! This is just my own inner dialogue with myself on how to be better. Ok, on to number two.
Step #2 to Gain More Confidence- Don’t Over Think It
I know it doesn’t sound like a step but it is. You need to stop yourself from overthinking and overcomplicating. This is fear trying to tell you things so you don’t grow. Fear is super super dishonest. You need to know that is 100% accurate.
What I learned from starting my business ChelsiJo.co two years ago is that there is no difference between the truth of a negative thought and a positive thought. Fears are all negative, it is trying to stop you from doing something that is a negative.
Every single time you approach something and you hesitate to do it, you are hesitating because of a fear. You may not get the visceral feeling of fear or processing “Oh I’m afraid right now.” But it is fear. Your mind then kicks in and rationalizes all the things that could, should, and will go wrong.
The truth is that not a single one of us knows what is going to happen tomorrow. The fact that you give in to the belief that it is going to be negative over the belief that it is going to be positive is 100% fear-based.
Keep your thoughts simple, focus on what you want to do, don’t overthink it, and just do. Regardless if you don’t know how. Regardless of if it seems super scary. Don’t make it complicated.
When I went about making a workshop for my website I mentally went through this battle but in the end, all the things I tried to tell myself about the process were way more complicated than the actual process was.
Think of the first thing you have to do and tackle the first thing. You can’t overthink the entire process. That’s when the little fears creep in and you get overwhelmed and terrified of the entire thing. All you have to figure out is what you have to do right now.
Step number three is crucial in order to tackle your fears and gain confidence so you can exponentially grow.
Step #3 – Reflect Daily
Without a shadow of a doubt, you have to be reflecting daily. Which means you’re analyzing the data. I’m analyzing and reflecting multiple times a day. It’s in my nature and it’s probably a part of why I have a knack for creating systems.
I’m constantly analyzing and computing in my mind “What does this mean?” “Why is this happening?” “What can I change to make it more efficient and effective?”
When you can sit down and analyze the new things you tried and reflect that no one’s toes or fingers fell off you can put away those fears and gain confidence.
I can give you an example of this whole process playing out in my life just today.
- My fear: Leaving my husband Blaine to go through the trenches of parenting alone with our girls and letting them have natural consequences for the way they interact with each other.
- The situation: While I was in a meeting in my bedroom I could hear them struggling. I had that burning sensation to go help.
- I tried something new: I gave them space to work it out on their own.
- Result: Six hours later it all blew over and it was like nothing happened and I was so proud of myself.
I was not only able to tackle a fear and gain confidence, but I also made progress on one of my goals this year. I want Positive Parenting embedded in the way Blaine and I talk to the girls by the end of the year. If I would have have done it for him, he would never have had the opportunity to learn and grow.
All you need to do is start right now, today.
It’s simple but it’s not always easy. These are three straightforward steps you can make to gain that confidence, conquer your fears, and grow exponentially.
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Try new things daily
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Don’t overthink it
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Reflect daily
Come join our Facebook community and share your thoughts. We can support you on this journey. But, if you’re really hungry and eager for true growth come and find out more details about the Systemize Your Life Academy.
You are able to start right now. Today make the decision to grow and try something new. I promise you will be so proud of yourself!
Frequently Asked Questions
I'm ready to start today! Now what!?
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