Unexpected changes can be the hardest part of motherhood. It’s almost like the changes come at the same time and BAM! Life is out of control. How do you get life back on track with the kids, your home and your business, and all the moving parts of life when the unexpected comes!?
I know the feeling all too well and in today’s post, I’m going to give you the three simple steps I use to get life back on track when everything seems out of control.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
This post is coming to you from a really raw and honest place. This week I fell off the horse, I got a little trampled, but now now I’m back on the horse again.
I first want you to know that this is completely, completely normal.
It is my joy, and my business, to teach other moms how to be productive, and intentional, and how to create more time and space for themselves so that they can pour into their marriage and their children, and their calling. But today, I want to talk about when that doesn’t happen and you need to get life back on track.
I’m coming off a week where there was no structure in my life, emotions were everywhere from me, my kids, and my husband. Today I am even more motivated to hunker down and pour out everything I do to you all, especially inside my free membership Facebook group. I am lit up about serving you all and helping you feel confident and productive in your motherhood and business. I want to show you how you can get life back on track as quickly and painless as possible.
So just a little overview of my week:
- Baylie has not been sleeping well and she decided to give her pacifier away
- My dad came to visit which means the girls share the same room
- Baylie is transitioning out of her nap
- My course launched during the BLM social movement
- I lost the desire to work as I grappled with how to support black lives and promote my course
- We took on a huge project of rebuilding Baylie’s bed
- My husband is going through some major career shifts
Everything I teach heavily about sleep, nap times, and morning and evening routines in the Systemize Your Life Academy went out the door. There was no consistency.
I’m sure you all have your relatable moments. You or your husband loses a job, hours are cut, kids go through life transitions, and the unexpected in life just happens. But there are brighter days on the other side of the hard.
But here’s what you need to know, here is what I teach inside the Academy, and this is what I do to keep myself from consistently veering off from the path that I know I’m supposed to be on. It’s a phrase Blaine taught me when we first got married and it goes a little like this.
Improvise, adapt, and overcome.
I’m going to unpack this for you. It’s super important you do them in this order. Do these and you will have your life back on track ASAP. I promise.
I didn’t have a plan in place for kids not sleeping, for the pandemic, or for a major social movement that happened right as I was trying to market the closure of my course. I had to improvise.
To improvise you get resourceful you lean on the people around you, you take a moment to be quiet, to be still.
Listen and pray. Put your phone down. Don’t even text your friends. Use the intuition God is giving you through the Holy Spirit.
Finding stillness with multiple children that aren’t sleeping can be hard but there is a way to do it if you’re serious enough.
After you have been still assess where you are at. Where are you floundering and where are you lost?
Next, tell your husband “I need some grace and we are going to have a meeting to be able to talk about this. What day works well for you?” Give yourself grace and do whatever you can to get yourself from now until then.
You just have to have grace with yourself during these shifts, you really have to, there’s nothing that we can do about it.
You also need to be letting go of all the things that aren’t giving love and respect to yourself, your husband, and your children. If you can’t give love and respect to yourself, your husband, and your children and do the dishes, don’t do the dishes today.
Before you get to your family meeting you need to know what is not working for you. You need to know what the problem is. Why are you feeling frustrated? Why are you not able to run your ship?
For me, it was that no one was going to bed at the right time. My kids were going to bed at 10 at night and I’m mortified that I’m even telling you that. My kids go to bed at 7 at night but this is what was happening for a week. It was horrible.
So that was one of the problems. The other problem was when we got up in the morning, beds weren’t being made, pajamas were left on, and no one was ready to go out the door when it was time to get out the door.
So you have improvised. I sat down and had a meeting with my almost-three-year-old, my eight-year-old, and my husband. I talked about how I’m having a hard time. I told them I’m struggling and I want to be able to support them but I can’t right now because of A, B, C and D. I told them I needed their support and I wanted them to tell me how we could work together.
We made a plan together.
I extended my offer to have my course open for a few more days because I needed a few more days. I now have new students and the whole thing is amazing. It is beautiful.
We’ve created a new plan that’s going to help Baylie thrive and that will help us thrive. Baylie is getting up earlier so we got her an ‘Okay to Wake Clock’ There is a 30-minute window when the clock turns yellow and she is then allowed to play with a specific yellow basket of toys.
Then it takes a couple of days after the meeting of reiterating the plan to everyone to make things work. You can’t expect everything to change immediately. That’s why it’s called adapting. It takes everyone time including yourself to adapt to a new plan.
Adapting to Overcoming
You will eventually then move from adapting to overcoming. But, listen very very intently right now…When you’re riding the smooth seas you’ve got to stay committed. It’s very easy for us to think “Oh well it’s been great! Let’s let the kids stay up and watch a movie tonight.”
Those bad habits are going to take you back to chaos.
You want to save your energy and those moments of chaos for when things are truly out of your control.
If you have had a long amount of time where the systems have been rolling, everyone is well fed because you’re meal planning, and bedtimes have been consistent then you will be able to have the energy to deal with change when it happens.
You want to save your energy and those moment of chaos for when things are truly out of your control.
Be Ok With Now
Please don’t be upset whenever things aren’t normal. It’s a beautiful thing to have a 3-year-old that is growing up. It’s beautiful and it’s hard but I want to see her grow and flourish and that brings growing pains.
Do you know how much shifting and adapting you’ve done since your kids were little? A ton, so much! And there’s no way that your life is going to look the same way now that it’s going to look 10 years from now.
If you feel like you are consistently in a place of chaos we are here to help! We have a free Facebook community that is ready and excited to support you. Just pop in and introduce yourself and tell us where you are at. We want to help you get life back on track!
If you are real serious and ready to commit to learning all my life-changing systems come check out the Systemize Your Life Academy. We are excited to meet you and help you wherever you are at on this journey of life!
Frequently Asked Questions
What do I do if I have trouble staying consistent?
You need accountability and we have that for you! Our free Facebook community is ready help you get life back on track and keep it that way. We also have weekly group coaching calls that will hold you accountable when you join the Systemize Your Life Academy. You can’t do this alone and we want to support you!