This blog post is a bit different as I want to explore a topic that’s been on my mind and one that many women in our community have raised: prioritizing the work we do and making it authentically ours by finding clarity and purpose in our own life.
Lately, I’ve had the privilege of engaging in more in-person speaking engagements with various groups of women. What’s become apparent is that a common concern for many of them, and even for some of you who reach out through the podcast, is navigating the challenge of when your husband doesn’t fully grasp or support your ambitions, or how to balance your desires with all the other responsibilities in your life.
So, I’ve decided to share the five clear steps that helped me evolve from a place of self-doubt to the profound clarity I experience today. My wish is that you find value in them, that you’ll jot them down, and figure where you currently stand. Regardless of where you are, my hope is that this information provides you with insights to move toward a life filled with unwavering clarity.
So, let’s dive into these transformative steps together!
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
Embracing Life’s Challenges and Finding Clarity and Purpose
Most of you likely know my story, but I’m not always completely open about what I go through. Yes, I share some, but I don’t sit here and vent to everyone about how challenging it can be to be me. Just like everyone else, I face difficulties.
We all have our own set of challenges and discouraging experiences, whether it’s on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly basis. Life is a series of cycles, and I’ve learned to navigate them.
My Journey to Finding Clarity and Purpose
When I reflect on where I am now compared to where I’ve been, I often wake up with a sense of clarity about what I’m supposed to do. This feeling roots me in my current season of life. I attribute this clarity to specific factors that didn’t happen by chance. It’s something that you can have too, and it’s why I’m so passionate about empowering women.
This drive led me to start this podcast. I wanted to transform the culture of motherhood, not just in terms of self-care but also how we support each other. It all comes back to the concept we know well here: fundamental needs. What does it mean? It’s about managing our time to care for ourselves, our homes, and our families well. But it’s not just self-care; it’s also about building a supportive community!
Building a Supportive Community
In this community, we uplift each other, provide education, and learn from one another. It’s incredibly valuable and important to me, which is why I created our FREE Facebook Community. However, for those who want to take a deeper dive and make real-life changes, our Systemize Your Life Academy is the next step.
The doors to the Systemize Your Life Academy are open right now, and we would love to have you on board. Inside the Academy, we want to help you wake up each day with a clear sense of purpose, leaving behind the feeling of being lost and becoming confident!
Whether or not the Academy is your next step, I hope this shameless plug has encouraged you to take action. Many of you are sitting on the fence, but I urge you not to wait. I promise you won’t regret it. Join us on this transformative journey towards empowerment and self-discovery!
Unlocking Confidence and Clarity
Here’s the gist of it: When I sit down and reflect on each day, I usually feel pretty confident. Now, I’m not saying I’m overflowing with confidence all the time, but most of the time, I’m quite sure of myself.
This confidence stems from having clarity, knowing precisely what I should be doing each day. However, I understand that it can be challenging when we find ourselves tangled in thoughts about what our children, husbands, and family members think of us.
So, the first piece of advice I’m going to share is this: You need to step back from all of those external opinions. At the end of the day, we can sometimes feel trapped in these relationships, but you don’t want to spend the rest of your life that way. I’m not suggesting you should leave those relationships, but rather, you should focus on who you were truly meant to be, not what others think you should be.
Finding Your True Purpose
This is the whole idea of being intentional, and it’s the starting point of creating any system. That’s why I’m emphasizing it, as it’s crucial for your personal growth. Without this clarity, your actions can become like mindless, frantic mouse work, scurrying around each day, trying to make everyone else comfortable.
We must make sure that you are comfortable and aligned with your purpose. If you’re already quite comfortable but want to reach a whole new level, I recommend diving into the next steps. Steps four and five are designed for those who have already embarked on their journey but still grapple with some doubts. If that sounds like you, don’t worry; I’ve been there too!
Believing in Your Journey
Regardless of how much support your husband provides or doesn’t provide, or whether your children are still too young to understand or are older but seemingly indifferent to your endeavors, there’s a way forward. I’m not sure how long it takes for kids to grow out of that phase. Mine are still quite young and haven’t quite reached that point.
Finding Clarity and Purpose Step 1: Guiding Self-Discovery through Journaling
Journaling is the gateway to self-discovery. When you don’t have clarity, it’s time for those soul-searching conversations with yourself. As a faith-driven individual, prayer, moments of silent reflection, and delving into fundamental truths, often through the lens of my faith in the Bible, play a big role in finding that clarity for myself.
Within the context of your relationships, lean on the support network available to you. Whether it’s your spouse, close friends, mentors, or the insightful advice of fellow mothers, these connections can provide invaluable guidance.
A Journey of Self-Reflection
Now, let’s focus on the journaling process. It’s essential to put your thoughts onto paper, freeing them from your mind and body. While I used to be a more verbal processor, over time, I’ve incorporated journaling into my daily routine.
If you find yourself facing a blank page, unsure of where to begin, let me offer a few questions to start your self-reflection. Firstly, ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” It’s a simple yet profound question, and I encourage you to answer it honestly. Often, we hold back our desires to prioritize the needs and wants of others. It’s time to give your dreams a voice and record them!
Next, consider this: “What dreams do I genuinely have?” These go beyond mere wants; they are the visions that persist day after day in your mind. Write these down. They are the sparks of your soul, waiting to ignite!
How Finding Clarity and Purpose Benefits Your Family
Now, go even deeper. Ponder this question: “What would happen to my children if I didn’t chase these dreams?” For some, it may even extend to your spouse. I firmly believe that I was designed to be my husband’s missing puzzle piece, completing the picture of his life.
Without me fulfilling my calling, his picture remains incomplete. This perspective is significant for me, as it may be for you. Many of us feel our greatest pride and joy from our children, and contemplating their future in this context can be motivating.
Addressing the aspect of being an income earner versus a stay-at-home mom, is a conversation I’ve had on my own journey. My upbringing was fairly traditional, with my mother working and juggling side jobs to support the family. I initially followed a similar path out of necessity, given that I was a single mother.
However, after marrying my husband and launching my business, my perspective evolved. I’ve always had significant dreams and goals, and there’s a powerful calling on my life to fulfill them.
Empowering Possibilities
Over time, I’ve come to realize that my dreams align with my husband’s. I have created a path for myself, which allows me to pursue my calling while being present for my family, particularly my husband. This is about more than just being there for my girls; it’s also about supporting my husband in his dreams.
Without this pursuit, his aspirations wouldn’t be possible, even in the little ways. I want you to think about this deeply. What would happen if you didn’t become the person you’re meant to be? This led me to take action, to believe in myself, and to go all in. It’s time for you to embark on a similar journey as we move on to step number two.
Finding Clarity and Purpose Step 2: Unlocking Open Communication
The second step in your journey is to communicate openly. As I started the exploration of my dreams, journaling was important. However, journaling alone wasn’t enough; I needed to share my thoughts with others. Regular conversations with my husband, trusted friends, and confidants played a critical role!
I would explain my desires, laying them out on the table for discussion. These discussions allowed me to refine my thoughts and bounce ideas off people I trusted. It was through these conversations that I found the support and encouragement I needed.
This step is absolutely vital, and it’s one you shouldn’t skip, even if you’re uncertain about whether your husband will fully support your journey. Every woman’s path is unique, and your journey will be distinct to you.
Overcoming Obstacles
I understand that the road ahead may not be smooth. Some of you may have to navigate this journey alongside someone who doesn’t fully embrace your dreams. I’ve been there, and I know it’s not easy. However, it’s important that you find a way to make your dreams a reality, even if progress comes in small increments, day after day.
Embrace the fact that as you continue on this path, clarity will emerge, confidence will grow, and self-doubt will gradually fade into the background. It’s about moving forward, one step at a time.
“You’re strong enough to handle obstacles, and this is where you begin to prioritize your journey as a woman.”
Embrace open communication, share your dreams, and be prepared for the possibility of some misunderstanding or hurt. You’re strong enough to handle obstacles, and this is where you begin to prioritize your journey as a woman.
Finding Clarity and Purpose Step 3: Embrace Imperfection and Start Before You’re Ready
Let’s dive into the third crucial step on this journey to transformation: embracing the idea of starting before you’re fully prepared. Now, if there’s a personality type that struggles the most with initiating action without feeling entirely prepared, it’s a Type One on the Enneagram – the perfectionist. I can say this with conviction because I happen to be one.
For the longest time, I wouldn’t undertake anything until I felt perfectly ready. Take, for instance, my history with talent shows. I participated in them throughout my life, loving the spotlight.
But there was a catch—I had to be entirely, absolutely, unequivocally ready. Every detail of my performance had to be flawless. I was the kind of child who would throw a fit if my costume wasn’t just right. We laugh about it now, but my perfectionism was deeply ingrained.
Breaking Free from Perfection – A Barrier to Finding Clarity and Purpose
This perfectionism stayed with me for years, and I knew that it was holding me back. By the time I had my children, I was in my mid to late 30s. I realized that I couldn’t afford to spend seven years trying to make something successful by meticulously planning and overthinking every detail. It was time to take action.
So, I got serious, invested in my dreams, and hired a coach who didn’t pull any punches. She cared little for my excuses or perfectionist tendencies.
Starting before I felt fully prepared was a challenge. It made me uncomfortable, physically and emotionally. I often got stomach aches from the stress. But here’s the thing: after a year of pushing through the discomfort, I realized that I had always been ready. I had let my perfectionism hold me back for far too long.
Therefore, I implore you to do the same. Whether it’s starting a project, launching a new venture, or even organizing your closet, start now, today. Don’t wait for everything to be perfect because it never will be. Start, take the first step, and watch clarity emerge from the fog of hesitation.
Finding Clarity and Purpose Step 4: Celebrate Your Progress
Now, for the fourth step, something important that many of you who have already embarked on this journey might overlook. This step will propel you to the next level and help you evolve beyond any lingering doubts.
Remember, doubt is a natural part of the process. It’s what drives you to ask questions, leading to answers that ultimately bring clarity. But how do you break free from the cycle of doubt? The answer lies in step number four: celebrating your wins.
Embrace the Small Victories
Even when it seems like so many things are going wrong, you must celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may appear. Let’s say you start a new endeavor, and your husband doesn’t acknowledge it, your kids are oblivious to what you’re doing, and only a handful of people show up to your Facebook group or download your first podcast.
It’s perfectly fine! Celebrate the fact that you sent out your first email or created that craft you’ve been wanting to. It doesn’t matter if it’s related to your business or not.
Your Victories Matter
This blog post isn’t solely about business; it’s for all of us, whether our priorities lie in business or motherhood. Pouring love, kindness, and intention into our homes and families is just as valid. Even if you’re reading a chapter in your potty training book and finally have a breakthrough, celebrate it, and share your joy with others!
Be proud of yourself for taking that small step in the right direction, even if you’ve taken a few missteps along the way. It’s all part of the journey.
Finding Clarity and Purpose Step 5: Building a Supportive Community of Like-Minded Women
Now, let’s explore step number five on your journey towards prioritizing the work you do as a woman, whether it’s in your home, your marriage, your motherhood, or your business. This step involves joining a community of like-minded women who share your goals and aspirations.
Hopefully, you’ve already found a welcoming space in the “Systemize Your Life” Community, but if you haven’t joined us there yet, I invite you to come over and become a part of our Facebook group. This isn’t just a place to waste away your time on social media; it’s a platform for learning and sharing your accomplishments.
The Power of Community
For me, I’ve found incredible value in being part of a mastermind with other women who are pursuing similar objectives in their lives. If you’re seeking a community like this, know that such spaces exist, and they are invaluable. I’ve invested thousands of dollars into my own personal growth through these communities. I’ll continue to do so as I grow because they are the driving force behind my progress.
In fact, I attribute 100% of my growth to sitting at the same table as other women who share my goals. The key is to secure your seat at that table before you believe you’ve earned it. This is how you’ll transform your mindset and influence your daily tasks.
Overcoming Doubt
I want to emphasize that I entered every one of these programs and communities with immense doubt. I doubted my ability to belong among the individuals already there. But here’s the truth: you will grow through it just as I did.
Conclusion: Embracing Clarity and Purpose as a Work-from-Home Mom
As we wrap up this exploration of finding clarity and purpose in the whirlwind of work, home, and motherhood, I want to leave you with a few important thoughts.
Remember that these steps are a roadmap to not only finding clarity but also making your work truly yours. Whether you’ve already started on this journey or this is new, know that each step can bring you closer to a life filled with clarity and authenticity.
Now, it’s time to begin your journey and take those vital first steps. Share your insights and plans within our Facebook community. Let’s support each other as we navigate this transformative path together.
Your authentic work awaits, and with each stride, you’re crafting a life of purpose and clarity that will inspire not only yourself but countless others in our community. Here’s to your journey, your authenticity, and the incredible impact you’re destined to make!
Looking to Learn More About Prioritizing Your Purpose and Path?
First of all, if you are wanting to know more about how to set goals while raising a family without losing yourself, check out this blog post. If you are at a place where you know you need to set goals to accomplish what you are called to in life but you feel too busy, the blog post, How To Create Goals Even if You’re Feeling Too Busy, is a must read!
Also, don’t forget to seek support within our amazing Facebook community. Share your goals and we can brainstorm together ways to make it possible in your life!
Thank you for joining me as I shared my five steps towards embracing clarity in your life. I look forward to witnessing your transformation as you commit to your authentic path.
And always remember, if you have any questions or need further guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out and connect!
Frequently Asked Questions
I have determined my goals, but how can I adjust my schedule to help make it possible?
Perfect! I am so glad that you took the time towards a life of clarity.
I would go ahead and complete our Fundamental Needs Workbook to figure out what should be in your schedule. After that, the next step is to download my free resource on Time Blocking. In this workbook, you will learn my 5 block method for getting your time back. I will teach you how to build the right time blocks for your schedule.
