With my first child, I didn’t have a bedtime routine or a nighttime routine. I also didn’t teach my child what healthy sleeping patterns were. She depended on me for everything. I lost a lot of sleep during those first few years. Then, I had a second child and decided I needed to do things differently. I learned that having a consistent bedtime routine and nighttime routine will improve sleep quality for your whole family and set you up for better days. Here is everything you need to know about having a nighttime routine vs bedtime routine and how to implement both in your home. It’s time to finally get the sleep your body so desperately needs!

LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS | GOOGLE PLAY | PODBEAN

I have always been a structured person with my routines. My youngest daughter went to bed at the same time every night but that didn’t mean she actually fell asleep. When the second daughter came around, I decided I was going to take a course so I could teach her healthy sleeping habits from the day that she was born. I saw other people achieving success and I knew I could achieve that too.

Once I went down that rabbit hole, I found a whole other world. Nighttime routines and bedtime routines have absolutely changed our entire family dynamic. It has changed my marriage, how I interact with my kids and our ability to sleep well. Better sleep keeps us happy, healthy, and less irritable. Most importantly, we don’t dread putting our kids to bed anymore and they don’t dread it either.

Here’s everything I’ve learned about setting up a consistent bedtime routine and nighttime routine to promote healthy sleep for our family.

What’s The Difference Between A Bedtime And A Nighttime Routine?

A lot of people use these terms interchangeably. For the sake of clarity, let me explain how we use the terms nighttime routine vs bedtime routine.

Our nightly bedtime routine is the routine we have set to get our children to bed in the same way, every single night. The term nighttime routine is reserved for you and your spouse. Your nighttime routine is what takes place for you after your children are in bed. This is the nightly ritual you do to set yourself up for restful sleep and fall asleep faster.

Why Do You Need Both A Bedtime And Nighttime Routine?

Everyone in your home needs a nightly bedtime routine because you want want better sleep quality so you can wake up with more energy. However, there is so much more to it than that. Let’s dive a little deeper.

Just this week, I decided to be more lax on my nighttime sleep to stay up late and get some extra time in with my husband. We are over the moon about life and transitioning into this new decade and a new season of life. But, let me tell you what happens when I decide it’s okay to stay up late. It’s not pretty.

Sleeping in is fun. Getting 8 hours of sleep is great. However, when you shift your rhythm it feels different, and not a good different.

Its called circadian misalignment, it’s a fancy way of saying your bedtime isn’t the same every day. A recent Duke Research Institute study showed an association between sleep irregularity and perceived stress, cardiometabolic syndrome, congestive heart failure, prevalent coronary heart disease, documented deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism. That same study also mentioned a direct correlation between irregular sleep patterns and deepened states of depression.

The Problem With Poor Sleep

The National Institutes of Health states that poor sleep can also increase the risk of slowed reaction times, irritability, anxiety, obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Studies have proven that not only do children need more sleep to have better executive function, emotional regulation, and overall health, but adults do too.

We need to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time every single day. If women like Oprah, Marie Kondo, Ariana Huffington, and the Bucket List Family are doing this then we know it’s part of the equation for getting your life together to accomplish big things.

If you are at all interested in personal achievement, or just want to improve your maternal mood so you can be less grumpy, snippy, or short, give this a try.

When I am tired, the ugly side of me comes out. It is over critical and extremely anxious. Not showing those parts of me is impossible without consistent sleep. Its not enough to just be sandwiching in 7-8 hours somewhere. Sleep consistency is key. To live the life you truly desire, you have to learn to prioritize sleep. That begins with a solid bedtime and nighttime routine.

How Do You Establish Bedtime And Nighttime Routines?

Consistency is key. I have friends with children of all ages, from infants all the way to high school and young adults. No matter the age, setting up your child’s bedtime routine is absolutely possible and necessary. I put this system in place and run it when my husband is home and when he’s working. He is able to do the same when I am not home and am out working late.

“In order to live the life you truly desire, you must learn to prioritize sleep. And that begins with a solid bedtime and nighttime routine.”

If you are struggling with little ones who have difficulty falling asleep or lot of night wakings, or you just want to teach your babies and toddlers healthy sleeping habits, check out this amazing company called Taking Cara Babies.

Her course literally changed the entire trajectory of our life, and I am not exaggerating. I had more sleep in the first 4 months of my second born’s life than I did in 19 months with my first born. Her education is PRICELESS!

Start At The End

I believe that our children come before our own personal endeavors but my marriage comes before my relationship with my children. Therefore, it’s a fine balance in a limited amount of time each day to meet everyone’s needs. Since many of you struggle with where to find time, I’m going to make this straight forward.

If you have a set work schedule, take those times to help you find the amount of time each evening you get to spend on YOUR nighttime routine.

Step 1: Establish YOUR Bedtime

The time your day ends is dictated by how much sleep you need. For example, if you have to be up at 6 am to get out the door by 7:30, count back 8 hours from 6am and you have a personal bed time of 10pm.

If you have to be out the door at 5:30am and you get up at 4:45, count back 8 hours to 8:45 for your personal bed time. If your PM block ends later because you have school-age children in after school activities, or you our your husband work late, then YOUR personal nighttime routine may only be 15 min every night. That IS TOTALLY OKAY! There is no magic amount time you need. You just need some form of consistent bedtime activities to help your brain and body get ready for sleep.

Step 2: Establish Your Kids’ Bedtime

Once you have YOUR bedtime set, then you look at what time your child should be in bed each night. Every family is going to be different but if you look at the recommended number of hours of sleep for your children’s age, you can gauge how many hours. I shoot to help my 2 year old get 12 hours of sleep. The goal for my 7 year old is 11 hours.

If you are pulling your kids out of bed at 6 am count back 10 hours from that. Even if your kids are functioning just fine, studies show that cognitive function and immune systems improve with adequate and consistent sleep. That means bedtime should be around 8pm for kiddos that are getting up at 6am.

Step 3: Set Daily Segments And Routines

In my daily schedule, I segment my day into five different blocks. Starting with a morning block, an AM block, nap/work block, PM block, followed by my nighttime block. I use these five time blocks to organize and schedule everything.

Within those segments, I have my set routines, such as our bedtime routine and our nighttime routine. My kids’ bedtime routine happens during our PM block. Here is a visual example:

For more information on how I organize my days, use my fail proof time blocking system.

Step 4: Create Your Bedtime Routine

Once you have established an ideal bedtime for your children, it’s time to work out the logistics. This includes figuring out which bedtime activities you are going to do with each child, how you are going to pour into them and love on them, and how long it is going to take until lights out.

For us, this looks something like this:

Bedtime starts with bath, followed by thirty minutes of individual time with each girl. During this time we read books, say prayers, brush teeth and put on jammies.

We follow this same bedtime routine every single night with both kids. Having a consistent bedtime routine helps them know they can count on this devoted and dedicated time with us. Then, it’s lights out. We let them fall asleep with books and a nightlight on until they actually asleep. However, they are no longer dependent on us for falling asleep. This has alleviated a lot of our bedtime problems.

Step 5: Create Your Nighttime Routine

Once lights are out for kids, then my husband and my nighttime routine begins. This gives me ninety minutes to cue my brain that is time for bed. I am very flexible with the things I do within my nighttime routine. However, there are a handful of things that I am consistent with every single night.

As soon as the bedtime routine is over for my kids, I am done for the day. I don’t do anymore work, I put down my phone. For me, these evening hours are sacred. There is no rush. My go to bedtime activities are taking a bath, doing an at-home facial routine and time spent with my husband. There is always time within our nighttime routine for reading books, followed by prayer. Then lights are out for us too!

Step 6: Maintain Solid Bedtime and Nighttime Routines

Start taking inventory of which pieces of your current bedtime routine are working and what isn’t. Start making small changes. See what happens when you go to bed at the exact same time every single day and wake up at the same time every single morning. Observe how your mood and energy shift. For you to get to a place where you have a solid bedtime and nighttime routine in place, it is going to take a commitment. You have to stick with it. Once you have those bedtime and nighttime routines in place though, you are set up for success!

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I get 7-8 hours a sleep each night? I have SO much to do!

First, and foremost, take a good hard look at everything you are doing! Are there things you are doing that don’t need to be done? Are there tasks that can be outsourced for someone else to do? How much time do you spend on mindless distractions? Check out my system for time-blocking to help you create a weekly schedule that sets you up for success!

Where can I find more tips for a solid baby bedtime routine or a bedtime routine for young children?

As I mentioned above, I love the Taking Cara Babies courses. They helped me overcome infant sleep problems, notice my baby’s cues, and get my kids to bed earlier to promote sleep. It was a game changer for our family and I can’t recommend it enough!!