The opportunity to GROW bigger and stronger and finally do your very best work in every area of your life is here! In this 5 post series, we are going to dive into the core areas you need to focus on in order to grow. You want to juggle it all, I get it. But how? From laundry, groceries, dinner, homework, emails, clients, hugs, exercise, and date night… how do you become the woman you need to be in order to get it all done? You start right here, right now, and then you grow. What do you say, wanna do this together? Then let’s dive into day two of the Ready to Grow series, where we will talk about how you can have high-performing habits as a stay-at-home mom. My advice might just surprise you.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
This is one of my favorite topics to talk about. We talk about it a lot inside of the Systemize Your Life Academy. I am extremely passionate about it and have a really interesting take on high-performing habits as a work-from-home mom.
In this post, I’m going to dive into the truth behind this trending topic and talk about what it really takes to make lasting change in this specific small micro-niche edge of the world of entrepreneurship and motherhood.
We’re combining two incredibly unique things together. One of them is motherhood and the other is being a work-from-home mom. The art of all of this is getting down to what everyone talks about high-performing habits should be, versus what they really look like for us.
This is some really good information that has come out from some research and past reading that I’ve done. This is stuff that I get really excited about and kind of geek out on so I’m going to throw a little bit of that in here. I’ll keep it short and simple and straight to the point.
Make sure to hop over inside of the Facebook group where we support one another, talk about our goals and what we are learning. Get plugged in, let’s do this thing together. All right, let’s get down into the nitty-gritty.
High-Performing Habits in Motherhood
First of all, we’re going to look at the truth of high-performing habits and what that really looks like in our lives. Truly, most of these books and most of the information that we are seeing pushed to us have all been written by others that really lack the perspective in creating habits within motherhood.
Motherhood is the most unforgiving environment possible.
Motherhood does not care if you’re sick. Motherhood does not care if you are tired. Motherhood doesn’t care if you have self-care, it doesn’t care if you have laundry, it doesn’t care if you have lost yourself or need time alone. Motherhood could care less if you want to have high-performing habits.
It has been weighing on me a lot as I’m lining up what high-performing habits actually look like for a work-from-home mom and comparing that to what most people think high-performing habits should look like.
Understanding the Making of a Habit
James Clear, the author of the incredible book, Atomic Habits goes really in-depth about the process of habit-forming and also how to break a habit. How to break a habit is just the inverse of how to form a habit. He breaks it down and gives some great examples in his book.
It’s really really important to know his process of habit-forming.
Regardless of whether you’re in motherhood or not, human brains are human brains. I’m going to give you a short little breakdown of how habits are formed from the author James Clear’s perspective.
Stages of Forming a Habit
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Cue
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Craving
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Response
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Reward
He also talks about this thing called the habit loop. The habit loop is where you go through this cycle from cue to craving to response to reward over and over and over again in milliseconds of your life. Here is an excerpt from Atomic Habits that goes over what this means:
“So in summary, the cue triggers a craving which motivates a response, which provides a reward, which satisfies the craving and ultimately becomes associated with the cue. Together these four steps form a neurological feedback loop: cue, craving, response, reward. That ultimately allows you to create atomic habits.”
The book goes so much further in-depth and gives tons of different examples of how this works over and over and over again in every aspect of our life. I’m so glad that this information is available to us and that the author James Clear took the time to bring this information to us.
When Going by the Book Doesn’t Cut it
But, there’s one crucial part that I’ve noticed is really missing. When I show up to coaching call after coaching where woman after woman after woman feels like a failure. Have you ever felt like a failure or like you tried SO hard and it was all for nothing? That no matter what you tried to do, no matter how many high-performing habits you put into place, no matter how attractive you made the specific steps in creating this new habit seemed, it just didn’t work out.? Yeah, me too.
The Missing Piece-The Interruption Phase
I’ve learned after reading these books and reading the blogs and going over it time and time again, there truly is a piece that’s missing. For people like you and me you see, the part that’s missing from all of this is the one thing I like to call the interruption phase.
This is the phase that only a mother would understand. At face value it is comical and we can all relate to being interrupted but it’s so much more than that. We look at the fact that we’re trying to create a life filled with meaning and productivity and we want to do better.
All those things are completely possible but there is this one part that’s being overlooked by so many. We read these books like High-Performing Habits and Atomic Habits that teach us how to be on our A-game but our A-game is ours, not theirs. So what is this interruption phase?
No one sees this phase, it’s completely invisible. It’s the lost train of thought because you got a knock at the door when your husband was supposed to be watching the kids while you’re trying to hammer out a project. Or, it’s a major pause in your work because the kids got sick for weeks on end, and now it’s your turn to be sick. It could be an interruption to your patterns because you run on a monthly cycle.
The interruption phase is unseen to so many because it’s what we do as mothers. It’s what we do so well. The problem is that we’re hiding it. We’re trying to live up to the high-performing lifestyle of those without children, of those not in charge of doing it all ALL of the time.
What am I saying? That work-from-home mom can’t have high-performing habits? Actually, I’m saying quite the opposite.
Making it Work for You
What I’m saying is that you already have high-performing habits you just don’t know it. You haven’t harnessed your ability, you don’t have systems to make the amount of energy you put into a day actually matter. The impact that you want to have is dispersed in so many places because of the interruption phase. You have to start looking at what high performing look like for you.
So what am I going to tell you to do to actually become high-performing and create habits with this interruption phase as a part of the four stages that James Clear talks about? It’s not an answer that you’ll like, but it might be an answer that you know well. Truly the solution is GRACE.
Now, hang with me here. It is simply said as grace but it’s extremely challenging to do.
I just went through three months of the most unproductive time of the last several years of my life. As the person that comes to a microphone and has productivity tips plastered all over the front of the podcast art, it was hard. Imposter syndrome came up, and just defeat and fear and shame. But, the beauty of some of the trials and tribulations that I go through as a creator is being able to step out on the other side of it and say “Oh my gosh, look what I learned!”
Start with a Good Foundation
There is a lot that you need to learn about the patterns of your brain in the four stages that James Clear walks you through in his book Atomic Habits. So please hear me well, the book will serve you well and it should be on your booklist.
You have to understand these foundational concepts in order to go to the next level for sure, hands down. Let’s not get this twisted, you are going to have so much time you feel like a failure.
Times will happen where your little boy wet bed in the middle of the night and here you are washing laundry at 2 a.m. and giving hugs to his sad soul because he’s discouraged. All of this is happening on the day when you finally were going to have a solid four to six-hour work block where you can focus. But now you can’t focus because you’re exhausted. Hello, interruption phase.
“You can create all the habits you want, you can set yourself up for success all you want but without grace, you will fail. “
Grace is Your Secret Weapon
You can create all the habits you want, you can set yourself up for success all you want but without grace, you will fail. Your extra couple of cups of coffee that morning to challenge yourself to power through might get you pretty far.
But honestly, knowing when to stop, when to pause, when to give grace, is the most high-performing thing that you could do in this season of your motherhood.
There will be a time when your kids don’t need you as much or maybe, that’s where you are right now. We swing through this all the time. It comes and it goes and it comes and it goes.
You have to be able to see your high-performing habits outside of this phase and know how to separate them from each other. That truly is your key to success.
This is part of our process, coming back to being high performers when we leave the interruption phase is our superpower. It’s what I want you to focus on this year as you build new habits and work hard to reach new heights.
Let Us Support You
Would you come over inside of the Facebook group and tell me what habits you’re going to focus on this year? Or maybe are you just going to focus on grace. You’re just going to focus on taking your superpower of being able to go in and out of the interruption phase and focus on that.
I would love to know where you’re at. What kind of habits do you want to break? What kind of habits do you want to start learning how to do, gain more confidence in? Let us come around you and support you on this journey inside the Facebook group.
If you want to have systems in place so that you can actually be impactful in the time outside of the interruption phase and even when you’re in it come to find more details about my Systemize Your Life Academy.
You can do this, it’s all possible, just make sure to hang onto grace.
If you go to James Clear’s website you can get excerpts and bite sized pieces of information from his book on his blog.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I get help staying consistent with new habits?
When you trying to break habits and do something new you need accountability. Inside the Systemize Your Life Academy we have weekly group coaching calls with me to help you stay accountable with all your big goals and new habits that you are working hard to create. You can’t do this alone and we are here to support you!
