Today I am going to share my number one secret to crushing productivity as a work-from-home mom! I cannot wait for you to know, because I feel like not many people know this in order to be able to crush your productivity as a work-from-home mom. And when I say crush your productivity, I mean literally how do you get more done in less time?
It is very unlikely that you already know what it is that I am going to share with you. This is totally amazing and I am going to bring you three major steps on how to put this in place. It is a superpower that most women don’t even realize they have. What we’re going to talk about today is something that I absolutely believe we all have inside of us, but just have never truly been taught to use.
So here we go. Get ready to find out what this number one thing is that I want all of you work-from-home moms to start doing in order to get more done in less time. And I’m telling you, it’s a good one.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
Life As A Work From Home Mom
I am going to talk to you about the number one secret to being able to crush productivity as a work-from-home.
Mom and I have been kind of tapping into this for a while. I’ve really been trying to put it into play in my own life and testing it out. Or more like observing and seeing what this really looks like in my life and if I think could be beneficial. Is this something that is just happening to everyone or do I feel like I’m seeing it happen in other women’s lives?
So I really pay attention to what you guys are doing, what you’re saying in the Facebook group, what my best friends are talking about all day, every day. My brain is constantly collecting information on what life is like as a work-from-home mom and what that looks like.
And so I’ve kind of looked at does to see if it is actually something that is beneficial just to me and Blaine. Or is this really something that I feel like God’s given me? Is this something that I feel is going to be beneficial to everyone?
I take this very seriously and I know that there are women, mentors, and coaches that I look up to. And of course, I always get what they have to say, and I always want you to vet what I have to say through your own lens of life, through your own belief system, through your own marriages, through your own motherhood roles. But I also take it very seriously that I am putting my beliefs and my thoughts and my systems and my ideas into your life. And that’s what today is, all about productivity as a work-from-home mom.
Being Productive As A Mom & Wife
Today is something that I feel so unbelievably strongly about that I had to put this in a post. Here’s what I’ve come to know. There are a lot of things that keep us from being productive as wives and moms, many things. We’ve talked about it before, anything from social media to having a dirty house.
We’ve talked about it from the aspect of a mother and how we need to make sure that we are communicating with our children. How we are making sure that they get to bed at the right time. How do we make sure that we are not getting sucked into tantrums and behavioral issues? We’ve talked about whether or not we’re being productive and have enough energy. If we’re actually taking care of ourselves. We’ve talked about it from every single angle except for this one. And I think productivity as a work from home mom, is the most crucial of them.
We Are All Unique
There was this notion that I was raised with that. Because I came from a very classic traditional Christian background with very typical gender roles in my family. And we really strived for all of those things, I carry a lot of that with me today. Not exactly the same, but I do carry a lot of that with me today.
I was raised with this Idea that I was supposed to be a certain way as a wife and my husband was going to be a certain way. But once I fumbled and struggled through relationship after relationship, I realized that I was just never going to be that wife. I was never going to be that woman. Never going to be that girl. I was never going to be that mom.
Then when I was gifted with the amazing gift that Blaine is to me and to our daughter, Frankie jo, I realized that I was designed uniquely for Blaine. And he was designed very uniquely for me. And it took me a long time for me to figure out how to stop wasting time, trying to make myself be a certain way and make him be a certain way in all of the areas.
To stop comparing myself to all the other women in my social media sphere. I noticed how much time I spent trying to be perfect in my home according to what I thought it was supposed to be based on what I watched my mother do my whole life.
All of those things were wasting so much of my life. And once I realized that God made me to be a certain way and then he uniquely crafted me to be Blaine’s wife. I realized I’m allowed to be who I am.
It’s like a light bulb went off because often women get into this space where we’re spending so much time and wasting so much time on our relationship with our husbands. We sit there and we circle and we spiral out of control on how we can begin to get more done in our house, to do more laundry, more dishes, and to have everything the way it’s supposed to be in our homes. And to be able to do our craft more, whether we work inside or outside of the house.
But to be able to do both of those things, I’m talking to you right now and you are me. You’re the woman that so deeply desires to do it all and do it well. And at the end of the day, so many times we as women are wanting our husbands to be on our team.
How many times have you grabbed your phone and texted your girlfriend to complain regularly about your husband who doesn’t understand you or won’t help you or isn’t capable? You are so annoyed and frustrated with him.
Why couldn’t you just be like this? And why didn’t he do that? And oh, he pissed me off. All these things, you get so frustrated with and then grow bitter and distant. You start taking on more on your end because you feel like you can’t count on him in helping with your productivity as a work-from-home mom.
You start operating in two completely different zones and isolate yourself from this unique ability to be your husband’s wife. And this is where the magic begins to happen. This is the superpower that I’m talking about that is going to begin to allow you to exceed and excel.
Working As A Team
And when I started looking at how in the world I accomplish what I’ve accomplished, it’s because Blaine is a killer teammate. I know that Blaine is amazing and I also know that your husband can be amazing. But I had to work really hard to believe that he was amazing outside of the thoughts that I brought to this marriage.
Now, you likely are in a very different situation and a very different season in your marriage than me, and that’s okay. What I want you to know is that there is something magical and powerful that is going to not only just help you reach your goals, but bring a whole nother level of living to your life as a mom and as a wife. As a business owner, a hobbyist, or an avid volunteer, whatever roles that you bring on.
If you understand that you have to stop operating in silos with your husband and begin to truly pick up the baton and use the talents that you both have to maximize the potential for you and your family, you can do that.
You don’t have to sit around and wait for your husband to do that. You don’t even have to sit around and wait for him to be on board to understand that concept. This is something that you can do on your own.
Walk Through Life Together
The untapped ability and potential of a wife. To create massive productivity by learning how to put her husband’s strengths to work is your number one key to everything.
You spend so much time fighting, tugging, pulling, and trying to go against the grain with this person that you live in a house with, someone that is insanely different than you. And it’s killing your ability to produce. It’s killing your ability in every way, shape, and form to be healthy physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally, as a mom in your business in every regard.
When you don’t stop and understand how you can begin to use the super unique design of a woman that’s so keen on her surroundings, in her home, and is so insanely crafted to know her children intimately, like a mother is designed, it is insane. And to be able to support your husband in being the killer leader that he was designed to be in your home.
Work In Progress
I don’t know about you, but for me, it took forever to understand this in my belief system. My husband, Blaine, is the leader of my home. And what that meant to me for many years is very different than what it means to me right now.
I am Blaine’s shoulder mate. We walk through this life together. I’ve had to learn how to use my voice and my power in a way that is respectful and that is honoring who he is every single step of the way. It is a work in progress. He’s had to learn how to communicate safely and securely with me. And he is a work in progress, but we’ve clearly defined what it means to each other to be shoulder mates with one another.
Through that process, I realize that I don’t have to be afraid to be a leader. Who I am and what I want and what I did was designed to be, even though we have these defined roles. It is okay for me to consider myself a leader of my own needs and my own wants.
So if you’re sitting over there right now and you’re operating in silos with your husband. You don’t feel like you’re on the same page or if there’s a certain subject in your home that you’re just 100% operating in silos.
Meaning Of The Word Silos
Let’s break down the word Silos just for a minute. Operating silos, what does that even mean? It means that you have completely assumed all responsibility for one thing and there’s no leaning on each other for support in any way, shape, or form.
Support can look very different. It can look like hands-on help, emotional support, just listening, or a lot of things. It can be financial support in a lot of ways. There are going to be some of you that are complete stay-at-home moms and you bring in no money. And so he has financial support for you. Or that might even be the other way around. Some of you might be full-time working moms and your husband is a stay-at-home dad, and you’re providing all the financial support.
I was completely that woman for a large chunk of my life. It can go either way. And this support looks very, very different. The point is, you will know, and you do know if you’re listening to this because it’s going to be like a punch in the gut.
What is the thing that you and your husband cannot connect on? That you’re not unified on. You either can’t communicate about it, you feel like you can’t go to him, or he feels like he can’t come to you. There’s no teamwork on it at all.
Three Ways To Stop Operating in Silos With Your Husband
There are three really tangible, practical ways for you to stop operating in silos with your husband. Start using the talents that you both have to maximize the potential for you and your family. When you begin to maximize the potential for you and your family. You sit down and take the time to work through these next three things I’m going to tell you.
That is when you are going to start seeing an insane increase in your productivity, you’re going to start getting way more done in less time. And why do I say that? Have you ever been on a team where people are not working together? Well, they don’t succeed. Even as strong and powerful as I know you are, you will never do more in your life than you will when you are in a unified front with your spouse, hands down every time.
For some of you, this is going to be exciting and for others, you may not want to listen because it’s going to challenge you. That’s okay. You don’t have to listen to it now, but I want you to save the link to this if you’re not ready. And I want you to come back to it later. I want you to know that it’s here as a resource for you whenever you are ready. I know that it took me time to be ready to step into what this looks like in my own life.
So let’s talk about these three things. To really begin to support your husband in being the leader in your house that you really want and need him to be so that you can have the productivity that you want in all of the things that you do.
1. Take Full Responsibility
The first thing I want you to do is to stop shifting blame and take full responsibility for every outcome.
Now, let’s remember the context we’re talking about, making sure that you’re not operating in silos with your husband. Because at the end of the day, we want to be able to stop texting our girlfriends and being irritated with our husbands. We want to feel like we’re on the same team as him. Feel like he supports us. We want to feel like he understands us. We want to be on the same team.
So we are going to stop shifting the blame on him for everything that has happened, blaming him for his procrastination. We’re going to start taking responsibility for every single outcome on our own.
Here’s the question that I want you to ask yourself. When you get frustrated with the choice that he’s made, you feel like it has impacted you in a negative way. I want you to say to yourself, what could I have done to prevent this outcome?
So let me just give you a good example. The other day I outsourced washing the bathtub to Blaine. I was cooking dinner. I had goals for the end of the day. And quite frankly, Bailey Mae had been sick. It needed to be washed before I could take a bath in there. And so I said, Hey, can you please go wash the bathtub out for me? It needs to be washed. And he said, yeah, what cleaner do I use? I told him the right cleaner to use and gave him a few directions and he went and did it.
Now, I went to get in the bathtub, and guess what was all over the tub? A chalky leftover cleaner substance. And so here I am with 30 minutes of my morning routine left, and I do not have time. I was immediately irritated with my husband and I wanted to blame him.
But then I asked myself, what could you have done to have prevented this outcome? And I immediately shifted the blame and the responsibility to myself. And do you want to know what that did? First and foremost, it saved 20 minutes of arguing and disrespecting my husband and allowed me to be the wife that I wanted to be.
So, I want you to start every time with that one simple question. What could I have done to prevent this outcome? Sit in it, wait on it, and journal it before you say anything.
2. Know The Strengths
Number two, I want you to know your and your husband’s strengths, but mainly I want you to know what your husband’s strengths are. But sit down and make a list of both. And if you’re like, he has none, well then I need you to start writing it down. I need you to find things. I need you to make things up until you believe it.
Maybe he reads books to your kids really well. Maybe he knows how to cook a mean burrito. What is it he does? Well, if he does a million things, well write them all down. I want you to start utilizing your husband’s strengths instead of focusing on his weaknesses.
Listen, if your husband is the biggest procrastinator that you have ever met and you know that this is where your leadership of you as a wife comes into play. Don’t give him jobs that have deadlines.
Think about it. This is like me with administrative tasks. I have just stopped giving myself administrative tasks because I’m not good at them and my husband’s amazing. He will get it done. I will procrastinate the crap out of those things. And so knowing our strengths and weaknesses saves us so much time.
We get more done together as a team when he takes the things that he’s good at, and I take the things that I’m good at. So if there’s a major deadline coming up and you have your husband on a job that he’s super responsible for, why did that happen? How did that come to be?
“We get more done together as a team when he takes the things that he’s good at, and I take the things that I’m good at.”
And then I want you to sit down and talk to him about it. If it’s a pride issue and he wants to own it, that’s okay. Be there for him when it doesn’t go well and say, hey, next time, maybe we could go about it like this. You do an incredible job at, name one of the things that he does a really good job at. I feel like I’m really good at this administrative task. So I was thinking that maybe next time I could do that and you could do this instead. What do you think?
Build him up. Speak to him with respect and honor. Give him those things that he’s good at instead of being irritated, disappointed, and frustrated that he didn’t come through on something that he’s just not really that good at. Because the truth of the matter is there are a lot of things that you’re not good at either friend. And there are a lot of things that I’m not good at too. And that’s my own pride. So if I want my husband to check his pride, I have to check mine too.
Do you guys have weaknesses? Yes, but that doesn’t even matter. What matters is that you start focusing on each other’s strengths.
Help Him Navigate
Learning how to take your husband, who he is, what he is good at, and help him navigate through home life. If you’re the work-from-home mom, he’s likely the one that’s not working from home. And even if he is working at home, he’s likely not the one that understands all the housework that needs to be done. All the food that needs to be put on the table.
Now look, I’m talking about the very overgeneralized, classic typical gender roles, and I understand that. I one hundred percent support, whatever situation you have going on in your house, I’m very overgeneralizing here friends.
For most of us that are work-from-home moms, that’s what I am, and it’s likely what you are. You are going to have the main meat and potatoes in your hands when it comes to navigating, caring for children, caring for a home, and probably a lot of other things in that mix. And so how can you begin to use that to truly help both of you succeed? How can you begin to use this knowledge that you have as the woman that you are and all the things that you do to help him succeed?
When He Succeeds, You Both Succeed
Because when he succeeds, you both succeed. When my husband succeeds in taking care of the kids for three hours, guess what happens to my work block? It’s awesome, I don’t have to come out and help him with the enormous amount of tears that are happening between him and Bailey. I can concentrate on productivity as a work from home mom.
I am telling you when you begin to understand how insanely powerful you can be when it comes to helping you and your husband not operate in silos, all of the magic and work that happens in your home. So whenever he comes out of his home office or he comes home from work, you know how to make the most ideal situation for everyone. That is when the magic happens. And so I’ve given you two ways to really hone in on that and make that happen for you guys.
3. Just Ask
Here is number three. I am going to give you one word, ask. Be bold and just ask. Ask for help or to listen. Just ask him to sit down at the table for 20 minutes. Ask him to listen to a podcast, read a book, make a list, pray, or open up. Ask him and just keep asking.
It is the craziest thing to me, how many women, I’ve given love and logic language cues to help you have the confidence to be to talk to your husband when you feel compromised. Because what happens when we’re timid, meek, or even worse encrypted? When we send messages to our husbands about what we want, they get confused and we get discouraged every time.
There’s no way possible for you and your husband to stop operating in silos and for you to truly become the powerhouse woman that you were designed to be. No matter what that looks like for you, as powerful as you could be.
And that might just mean that you got through the day of raising children without losing your temper, without crying, or just without feeling discouraged. Maybe that is your definition of power and being powerful. Maybe your definition of being super powerful is being the woman that earns multiple figures in her business while she’s raising kids. But are you operating in silos? Are you doing it on your own?
There’s no possible way for you to get to that point unless you ask. Unless you sit down and you say to tell him, this is what I need. Hey, I was thinking, hey, I’m feeling, hey, do you have five minutes? I had something on my mind. You might need 30 minutes, like me, I’m not a five-minute talker.
Think About Your Approach
It’s important that when we approach our husbands, we think about the way that we approach them. And if you can approach your husband with honor and respect, your outcome’s going to be way better every single time.
So, when we go to our husband’s, the one thing that I always have to remember and I want you to remember too, is to believe in your heart that he wants to be there for you. He probably just doesn’t know how. And so if you keep number one in mind, which is to take full responsibility for everything, and you don’t go to him with resentment, anger, bitterness, and frustration. You’ve shifted the blame onto yourself, and you’ve taken full responsibility for what has happened in your life and in your home.
Secondly, take into account your husband’s strengths, when you go to him, that’s when you’re going to be able to create a language that’s really powerful. That is honoring and respectful to him. And that gives you the courage to be bold and ask. There are so many opportunities within your day if you sit down and look at every single time block you have.
Shift The Blame
Let’s use this example. The first thing was to shift the blame and take full responsibility for every outcome. So if you’ve asked your husband to unload the dishwasher. Say, Hey, would you mind unloading the dishwasher for me tonight? Well, he doesn’t unload it, and you go to bed and you’re frustrated.
First and foremost, yes, you asked him to do it. No, he didn’t do it. How could you take full responsibility for that outcome? Could I have reminded him? Did you say, hey babe, I know that you really want to help me and I know that you care that I asked you to get the dishwasher unloaded? It’s getting kind of late. Are you thinking you’ll still be able to get it done tonight? Do you want to put it off till tomorrow? Or would you like me to help you with it before we go to bed?
Most of the time he’d be like, oh yeah, I totally forgot. Or No, I don’t really feel like doing it. Do you care if I do it tomorrow? Have that conversation with him instead of being mad and waiting and watching out of the corner of your eye to see if he’s going to do what you ask him to do. Your just wasting all your time and energy on that one little nuance. I want you to put your energy into supporting his strengths. For me and my husband in that situation would be, he’s more than happy to help me.
Know His Strengths
That’s not something that he thinks about. It’s not something that he cares about. And so that’s the second thing, is to look at his strengths. What strengths does he have that can help you to be more productive as a work-from-home mom?
Did you ask him to do a task that he’s good at? What does he know how to do well? Are you outsourcing things to your husband that he’s good at and that he likes doing that can help him succeed in this team effort of taking care of children and a house?
Be Bold & Ask For Help
Then third, be bold and ask him, him what I just said, right? First of all, be bold and ask, Hey, I’m like super swamped. Or, Hey, Bailey May’s not really feeling good and it has been hard. I’ve had to hold her all night long. Can you please do the dishes after dinner?
You Got This!
But what I always know is at the end of the day, when I do that, it propels me forward. It propels the mom that I want to be in all my pride and glory of wanting to be the best mom on the planet. That gets moved closer and closer to that ideal image and I am able to produce more in my business when I do this first. So it really ends up being something that benefits me, even though it’s a selfless act, even though it’s me focusing on him first.
I really hope that this hits you so deep down in your heart and it plants this seed that grows in you as a wife so you can crush your productivity as a work-from-home mom. To where you can begin to blossom to feel fruitful as the woman that you are in every major area of your life. So that you really can do it all and do it to the best of your ability without feeling pulled in all directions, without being discouraged with hope, joy, and gratitude, and your ability to have a little fun while you’re at it.
We would love for you to join our Free Systemize Your Life Facebook group, where you can connect with other women just like you and ask questions. Or if you are needing a little support when it comes to really deep diving into your and your husband’s strengths you can head on over to the Systemize Your Life Facebook Academy.