Welcome to day four of the Spring Reset Challenge! Day 4 will wrap everything up and give you the exact steps to prioritize yourself even when you don’t have time. It’s time to get motivated, stay motivated and finally run your home well.
This four-part series will be jammed packed with life-changing information that will help you lighten your home, schedule and to-do list so that you can finally catch a break and prioritize a little you time. In parts 1 – 3 of this series, we worked through how to declutter your schedule, home and your to-do list. In this final part, we’ll bring it all together so you can start prioritizing yourself every day.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
Are You Prioritizing Yourself?
Today we are diving into you. Which is what I am most excited about. We all fit this mould of being a work-at-home mom, even if we are not working. We always do something outside of just sitting, cooking, cleaning and caring for kids. It is so much more than that.
We will look at staying motivated through all that and how you can run your home well because you are well taken care of. If I asked you who is taking care of you, I really do wonder what you would say. Who is taking care of you? Nobody? Whenever you think about this or get asked this question, the answer should be: I take care of myself.
I make sure I eat well, exercise, and sleep 7-9 hours every night. I get to pour into my passions, rest when I’m sick and sit down when my feet are tired. The list can go on and on. Are you doing those things? Are you taking care of yourself?
You Don’t Need Permission To Prioritize Yourself
You should feel completely confident that you are well taken care of because you are making time for it. Just look at this challenge. You’re motivated, throwing away bags of things, thinking about your to-do list differently, and taking control of your calendar and schedule. That is motivation you have probably never seen in yourself or haven’t seen in a really long time.
It’s all because you have been pouring into something that matters to you. Self-care is a term that someone created to give validation to an overworked woman who needs to care for herself. You don’t need permission. This topic is super important to me, and nothing is more powerful than knowing that the only way you will serve others is to serve yourself first. You are strong. I get it cause I am too. I’m independent and stronger than a lot of people that I know. But I really take good care of myself. That is how it is sustainable.
“Nothing is more powerful than knowing that the only way you will serve others is to serve yourself first.”
I Learned The Hard Way How To Prioritize Myself
I don’t burn out. Sometimes I get sick. This wasn’t always my life. Trust me, I learned really hard lessons about getting unbelievably sick. I got into a relationship where I was emotionally and physically abused and got myself into places because I refused to prioritize myself. I refused to keep my motivation moving forward in the direction I knew it needed to go because I always gave and gave.
To this day, I undoubtedly know that I will serve anyone else before I serve myself 98% of the time. However, with my method and what I know and learned through two decades of collecting data, I know now what it takes to stay motivated and prioritize yourself to show up so hard and do this so well that you are proud, eager and satisfied.
What Needs to Change So You Can Prioritize Yourself
These are important questions for you to think about. First of all, I want to get super clear on what happens in y our life when push comes to shove. I want to figure out how you will finally make that shift in the world to know it is possible to use the time you usually give to everyone and everything else and find a little room for you.
Who gets totally scrapped first? Do you eat last? Who doesn’t get the towel when one is forgotten and everyone gets out of the pool? Are you the one that stays up late getting things done? Who walks the furthest because something was forgotten in the car? Who gives relentlessly to make everything work for everyone else all the time? When push comes to shove, what happens?
Here is the thing. The last thing you write down on your to-do list is something for you. Self-care items need to be tiny things that are built into routine stacks. Real rejuvenation and truly prioritizing yourself. That is why I love what I do so much.
Prioritizing Yourself Matters More Than Anything Else
It is vital for you to see that you matter more than anything else. You matter more than the schedules and the to-do lists. None of those things matter if you are not around. I have learned that lesson pretty hard recently. If you are not around mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially, all of these things you contribute to your family are invaluable.
Getting stuff out of your house is valuable. It is not about checking off tasks on a list. You need to know that making changes, having clarity, and getting some systems in place is valuable. But you need to get motivated each day, month, and year, which is nearly impossible if you are not prioritizing yourself.
All of the above. You have to be in a space where you can show up and do those things, or you’re just going to be a robot, grumpy, over-caffeinated, overweight, and undernourished. Let’s look at what it will take for you to prioritize yourself just enough to keep this incredible motivation you’ve been building.
How to Start Prioritizing Yourself
Can you also think that it is exciting and rewarding to prioritize yourself even though no one else cares enough to take care of you? I know everyone else cares bout themselves. People are self-centred and we are constantly thinking of our own needs, but there is some weird genetic mutation that happens to us where we stop doing that, and you have to learn how to switch that on and off.
I’ve learned that sometimes I must allow others to do things for themselves and give myself a break. We have to figure out how to make time for you to do your skincare at the end of the day, get a workout in, and have the space to do a budget that makes sense and helps your family financially. Whatever it is, you deserve to prioritize yourself and all of these things.
1. What Are You Neglecting?
Write down what you are neglecting or what you are dreaming of doing for yourself and what you are not already doing regularly.
What are you constantly thinking about? Maybe you used to do this and don’t do it anymore, or you have always wanted to do it but just haven’t. What are you neglecting? It doesn’t matter what it is. It can be something super superficial, like getting your nails done, but that is okay. No judgment on what these things are. Just write down your desires that would make you feel like someone is taking care of you for once.
2. What Does It Look Like To Prioritize Yourself?
Write down how many hours a week you would need to get that thing done, or those 2-3 things done, in order to take care of yourself. Pick a few things from the list that you will write based on the first step and start looking at and dreaming about what it would actually look like to do those things. Close your eyes and think about yourself waking up refreshed, 20 minutes before everyone else, have your alone time and your nails are painted in the process.
3. What is Keeping You From Prioritizing Yourself?
I want you to identify what is keeping you from doing that. What is holding you back? I want to know why you aren’t going to bed early, working out, nourishing yourself. What is it? Is it money, really? How do you know it is the money? Do you have a fully built-out budget? Do you know where every single penny is going every month? Are you spending every dime you have on exactly what you want to spend it on?
Because if you have an answer that says no to every one of those questions, the answer isn’t money, it is deeper than that. It is the answer to why you don’t have a budget and why you don’t know where your money is going. Those are the reasons why. Not because you don’t have money. You will have to go deeper to figure out what is holding you back.
Is it that your partner isn’t on board and doesn’t understand? That happens, and it can feel like a legitimate reason. But how do you know if he’s on board with what you need? Have you asked him? Have you said, “I’m drowning in housework and the kids, it’s not your fault, but I want system and order and work really hard to make that happen – what do you think? What did he say? That is the only way you are going to know. You can’t blame him and say he is holding you back unless you’ve asked him that.
Stop Making Excuses To Not Prioritize Yourself
The point of this is that you need to look at what your excuses are right now and stop making them. There is a solution to every problem that you will ever face. Everything that I give you in this blog is so unbelievably practical. You can literally go out and face every systematic problem that you are having in your home management or business task management in a jiffy. But when it comes down to what is holding you back, it is unbelievably personal. I need you to look past the thing that comes up immediately and point the finger right back at yourself. It is really not unheard of.
Our work as the leader of our ship doesn’t depend on anyone else. Teamwork is non-negotiable, but the initiative is a one women job. Your initiative and your motivation do not depend on anyone else. You can take action without someone else’s approval. You may be unable to spend money or make massive changes, which is fine. What do you need in order to do your job well?
You can absolutely work even when your husband sits and doesn’t participate. It can be discouraging and defeating, but trust that you can do this. You can get a home management system in place. You can breathe and stop drowning without everyone around you understanding, including your husband. He will notice your hard work. Your kids will notice your hard work. The change we want to see doesn’t always happen overnight.
Dig Deeper and See Why You Are Not Prioritizing Yourself
I want you to focus on the excuses we put up in front of us to comfort ourselves. What is it that you really, really need to prioritize yourself? How much time is it actually going to take you? It is way less than you think. And why aren’t you tackling it right now?
These questions are meant to make you look a little deeper at what you are struggling with inside of yourself. No blaming, no shifting. I want you to ask yourself the cost of not changing, investing, staying stuck, and staying the same. Investing in your home, yourself, and your family pays off every single time. All the work that you’ve done during this series matters. It is the beginning steps and foundation for where you get to go from here.
Hoarding time, money and things in your life is a recipe for chaos and overwhelm, and you know it. Now is the time to take everything that you’ve built and run with it. There is a better way.
Create Systems to Start Prioritizing Yourself
Inside Systemize Your Life, you’ll find my entire method of doing this, laid out day by day, week by week, from start to finish. The way I run my life is honestly simple, and it’s that way on purpose. My entire method that captures everything I do is written in a 4-week process with 1-2 hours a week. You can learn this exact method and figure out how to take everything we’ve learned in this 4 part series in the 4 weeks and have all of it without questions.
You’ll be able to have a home management system that allows you to prioritize yourself. It is the coolest thing to be able to have a plug-and-play format for you to write in all of your own systems that allow you to get done so much more and way less time. Sacrificing yourself to a busy schedule to a long to-do list, it stops today.
Getting rid of a to-do list is absolutely vital. Knowing what to prioritize in your week and how to organize all that chaos you have swirling around in your head is the next step in your own growth. You will get so clear and super organized that you will use all the extra time to learn and grow and take care of yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
I've tried to make time to prioritize myself first but I just can seem to fit it in. How do you do it?
If you need help trying to find the time to prioritize yourself, you can listen to Podcast Episode 3: Learn How to Time Block Your Fundamental Needs to Reduce Stress and Anxiety. In addition, there is also a free workbook, The Time Blocking Workbook that can help you schedule in time to prioritize yourself.