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What Is Survival Mode?

Survival mode is something that happens for a hard stretch of the day, week, year or sometimes even longer depending on what is happening in your life. It is a season where things just feel overwhelming. We feel like we are in a survival state, just getting by. It could be caused by a traumatic experience, strained relationships, physical health or even just the impact of constant stress.

I’m the first to admit that living in survival mode is hard. The good news is, these three tips can help you practice self compassion and get out of survival mode pretty quickly.

Truth be told, there is a lot to this notion of searching for the silver lining when things are hard. This hard season that you are in really is your pot of gold. I know, it might not feel like it right now but you really are sitting on the solution. The answer to all your midnight woes, or whatever time it is that you have trouble sleeping, is right in front of you.

I want to show you how I’ve leveraged my hard seasons to be able to do everything I want to do in my family and in my life.

How Systems Can Help You Get Out of Survival Mode

Everybody has a system. Some systems are broke, some are janky and some just flat out don’t work. However, you are already doing something to get from point A to point B in a very specific manner. That specific manner might not have a rhyme or reason but that is your system.

When you are stuck in survival mode, you can use systems to get through the essential functions of the day and have time to focus on your physical wellness, manage stress, or whatever else you need in the present moment.

 A successful system is created by understanding patterns. That’s all there is to it. There’s nothing more complicated than that. This is how I’ve created a plug and play system for not just my home and my business, but for thousands of others. I look at and understand the patterns.

The Power of Observation: Eyes Up!

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and in survival mode, here’s your first tip: look up.

I’m not just talking about literally lifting your eyes from your phone (though, you should definitely do that too!). What I mean is, start being observant about what is going on around you. Look around at your life. Sure, it’s chaotic right now. You know that because you can feel it. I want you to take the time to figure out why it’s chaotic.

You don’t have to do anything pressing with that information just yet. I’m going to give you three really specific tips here in a second. For now, I just want you to start looking up, look at what is really going on. Look at what’s going on with your kids, with your loved ones, your dog, with everything—just be observant and pay attention.

I think so many people want to hide and shrink away from their life when they are stuck in survival mode. Maybe it is out of shame or guilt, fear, overwhelm, exhaustion, sadness, anger, depression, whatever it may be.

Don’t hide from reality. I want you to really see what you got to face every day. Sure, it sucks and it’s hard. I know you’re not proud of it. That’s okay. We’re going to talk about how to end that chronic stress in a second. For now, just watch your life. You are going to learn so much when you start facing reality.

Using Observation To Deal With Stress

If you’re like, “Hey Chels,  just so you know, I actually see those dishes every single day. I know they’re there.” I know you know. It’s time to start observing the details around the things that cause you stress.

Who put all the dishes there? (We’re not doing this to blame people. We are looking for clues.) Why are they putting them there? When are they putting them there?

When you have the bandwidth, I want you to think even deeper. Just be open and ask yourself what would happened if you stopped doing things the same way you always have. You don’t talk to anybody about this just yet. I want you to just practice thinking through solutions to all those little things in life that cause you stress and anxiety. That constant stress adds up. See if you can find ways to help everyday life run more smoothly.

How Observation Can Reduce Chronic Stress

Here’s a real life example for you. I asked myself, what would happen if my husband didn’t constantly set his coffee cup in the sink that has no dishes in it. After years of observation, I realized that him putting his coffee cup in the empty sink sets off a trigger for everyone to start putting their dishes in the sink. It makes them think that the dishwasher is not ready to receive dishes when in reality, it is.

That one small action sets off a chain reaction. The only way that learned that was through some serious observation. This is how I’ve created systems efficiencies in my home that keep me from having dishes backed up.

So now, we work together to figure out solutions. Can we find another home for the coffee cup? Do we need to set a dirty/clean magnet on the dishwasher so that everyone knows when the dishes are clean or dirty? Once we know the cause of the little stressors we face throughout our day we can figure out ways to solve them.

When I say “eyes up,” I’m encouraging you to stop hiding from the mess and face it. Don’t shy away from the overwhelm—watch it, observe it, and learn from it. You don’t need to fix it all at once. You don’t need to make immediate changes. Just observe. Watch your life unfold, and you’ll start to see patterns in the chaos. It’s not about blame. It’s about understanding what’s happening and why. That’s where you’ll start seeing opportunities to make things easier.

The 3 Ds To Ditch Survival Mode: Detach, Dream, Draft

I already gave you so much but let’s talk about how to start getting out of survival mode.

Often, when we’re in hard seasons, we’re not in a place where we can think creatively. It often feels like solutions are off the table. We’re just trying to survive. I wholeheartedly understand that. 

At the same time, the quicker you can get out of survival mode, the better. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have a time and a space to sit in the hard. We don’t want to rush it. But, we also don’t have to sit there and prolong it for longer than necessary. There are ways to get through survival mode and start working toward solutions. I’m going to give you three tips to go from a place of chaos to calm and they all start with the letter ‘D’.

Tip #1: Detach

The first step is to detach yourself from the chaos.

I want you to see the chaos. We’re going to go in and look at the chaos and just observe. It just data. It’s not your worth. It means nothing about you or your potential.

I can’t I can’t emphasize this enough. I don’t care what this state of your body looks like or your pantry, car, cupboards, closet, refrigerator, whatever it may be. It doesn’t matter how many times your kids have been late for school or how many times you forgotten to pick them up at the right time on early release day. I don’t care.

None of this says anything about your value, your worth, your potential or your capacity to care for them. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just data. Collect the data with self-compassion. Then, you get to choose what you want to do with that information.

Tip #2: Dream

Which leads me to tip number two: dream. I want you to start dreaming about a day when your chaos is calm. I know it seems like that day is never going to come. With systems, it will come.

Sure, you have to do the work to put systems in place. I cannot promise you that change will happen without work but I can promise you that change will happen with systems in place.

These systems are the foundation of organization, structure, routine and balance. It all starts with systems.

“Sure, you can go in and organize something but it is just going to un-organize itself without a system in place to maintain it.”

From the time you wake up in the morning to the time that you go to bed at night, there’s opportunity for efficiency, efficacy and systems all throughout the day. Start dreaming about what life could look like if you weren’t in survival mode and under chronic stress all the time. What does your morning look like? What is your night like?

The very first activity that my students do when they join Systemize Your Life or Systemize to Scale is to dream. I make them imagine a life without all the stress and anxiety. One where they have enough support and time for the self care activities they need. I have them imagine what it would be like to feel in control of life. Take your own dreams for a life of less stress and anxiety and run with it. Write it down. 

Tip #3: Draft  

Tip three is to draft. Start start writing. If you’ve never been a writer, you’re about to be. Write all those dreams down along with all the data that you collected. Get a journal and put it on your nightstand.

Take a good luck at your survival mode symptoms and figure out what you need to stop feeling constantly overwhelmed and stretched too thin.

Write down what you’ve observed in your life and start drafting solutions. What could make your morning routine smoother? How can you reduce stress at the end of the day? By writing it down, you begin to see patterns. That’s where real change happens. You can use those patterns to determine your path out of survival mode.

You Can Stop Living In Survival Mode

When you’re in survival mode, it’s easy to feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle. But by following these three simple steps—detach, dream, and draft—you’re laying the foundation for getting out of survival mode and into a more organized, peaceful life.

These may not be massive changes, but small shifts can make a huge difference. Start observing your life. Dream about the changes you want to make. Then, begin drafting solutions. It’s that simple.

You don’t need to have everything figured out. You don’t need to go from chaos to perfect. But if you begin with these three steps, I promise that by the end of the week, you’ll feel lighter, more organized, and empowered to take on the next step in your journey.

If you’re ready to go deeper, and get out of survival mode even faster, join Systemize to Scale. You’ll get my plug-and-play home and business management systems so that you can start feeling in control of your life. It comes with a 12-month coaching program so my team and I will can be there to support you every step of the way.

Busy moms don’t have to feel stuck in survival mode, full of stress and anxiety. We will teach you how to manage both business and home in a way that gives you enough time for all of your core needs and everyone else’s. It’s time to leave survival mode behind. Join Systemize to Scale today!