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Marriage

Pursue Your Dreams with NO SUPPORT as a Work From Home Mom

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December 22, 2022

Its easy to look at all these woman just crushing it, chasing their dreams and think “oh she must have a ton of help. Her husband must support her so much. I can’t ever leave my kids or get out from under my house life to actually do anything for myself” But the truth is, we all live in the same exact world and we all have the same struggles in one way or another. Inside today’s episode I am sharing 8 tips for you to escape the mentality that you have to have a cheerleader for a husband to make it all happen… cause lets be real, Blaine doesn’t have any pom poms, and he certainly doesn’t wear a skirt.

Ready to hear how to get after those dreams even when your husband doesn’t understand what you’re doing and why it matters? Then lets get started with todays episode.

Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast

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So as I mentioned, my husband doesn’t wear a skirt nor does he have pompoms in his hand. This is very accurate! However, he is very supportive. But not like how you may think.

My husband and I are very different. He doesn’t love systems, he doesn’t love communicating. He doesn’t love everything that I love. We don’t always understand each other and we have disagreements. My husband has his on dreams and he is super focused on his dreams.

This means I have to navigate life with him just like every other person does in their own relationships. There are days when I have to figure out how to leave the children with him when it’s the last thing he wants to do in order to get work done. Things do not always go as planned and I often fall into mom guilt even though he isn’t trying to guilt trip me.

I have to navigate these things because I am in this position where I have a business. Therefore I have an income, have a community, I have dreams and I have goals. Yet, you want me to stay home and take care of sick kids because it bores you. Although he doesn’t say these things, my mind will often say it for him and it is often how I feel. I have to navigate this all the time.

Having no support is its own challenge

There are times when I believe he does have the pompoms in his hand when I need to go to my work block for the day and other times when he just doesn’t. I know in my heart he supports me, even when he doesn’t say it.

For those of you who don’t have any support, let me just say, I feel you in my bones. I spent 5 years of my life chasing my dreams that were not supported at all. I was a mom basically raising my daughter by myself. He wanted me to not succeed more than anything in the world. That may have not been his intent; but due to his own personal struggles in his life he didn’t support me.

Showing up on your own

I literally had no help at all and dealt with a lot when it came to growing my event based business. I had a dream, a BIG dream and a passion to put affordable weddings and baby showers together for people. Yet I was living in a worse state than someone who didn’t have support or help because I was living with someone who was having a lot of struggles and the way they came out was belittling to me and I had to face that every single day of my life. I had to rise up and become the woman I am today. It was hard! It was really, really hard!

With that said, when I was mapping out topics, this topic was hard on my heart which is why I am about to share with you 8 tips to use to pursue your dreams regardless of what your support system looks like and regardless of what you are getting from your husband. This is what you can do on your very own for your goals and how you can show up for them and work towards them.

“Believe in your own dreams. Never wait for the validation of YOUR idea from him to be the reason why you start. Just start and get after it. Do what you need to do. You husband has his own journey and so do you.”

8 TIPS TO PURSUE YOUR DREAMS WITH NO SUPPORT FROM YOUR HUSBAND

Tip One: Reading

You need to read the book “You Are the Girl for the Job: Daring to Believe the God Who Calls You” by Jess Connolly. This book changed my life. It gave me the confidence to believe in all the things I knew I needed to be doing in my life. Get it on Audible or buy the book and read it, RIGHT NOW!

Tip Two: Don’t Fight. Don’t Argue

When it comes down to wanting your dreams to be validated and understood, you can not force that to happen. You can’t fight it. You can’t argue it. I’ve tried. A lot. For a long time in many ways. Like too many ways. And it just doesn’t work. I am a fighter and I fight hard for what I believe in. Sometimes, I fight a little too hard. So what should you do instead? That’s tip number 3.

Tip Three: Be Positive

Instead of being upset, focus on communicating with respect on how you are feeling. In the most calm and forward way possible, you have to communicate with him what it would mean to have his support. It has to be done in a positive way in order to get a positive response.

So maybe try something like this, “Hey Babe. It means so much to me when you support me. I know you have so much on your mind with work and I love how hard you work for us. Last night when I asked to work on my blog for two hours, it felt like it was a really great time for me to do that. You seemed really annoyed and upset. How would you like for me to ask you that differently next time? Or when would be a better time later this week for me to get 2 hours in?”

That’s a random example, but really think about how you are structuring your language. I know this random thought may pop in your mind like “why does this have to be this hard and could this be easier?” But don’t bother yourself with that. Spend your energy and your time focused on how you can change your language towards your husband in a way that is honoring and respectful to him.

Tip Four: Be Patient

The support that you want doesn’t happen overnight. Even the responses to conversation like in tip #3 will not come overnight. As you are working on being positive, you may have to have these conversations over and over for months and maybe even years. I am still having to have such conversations. This will probably go on forever. So get it in your mind that this isn’t about what he owes you. You have to be patient. I promise you it will come.

Tip Five: Work Hard Anyway

Believe in your own dreams. Never wait for the validation of YOUR idea from him to be the reason why you start. Just start and get after it. Do what you need to do. You husband has his own journey and so do you. Work hard at it. You have been called to do certain things and you need to figure out how to make it happen. We can’t have this crutch that is “oh my husband doesn’t support me” and let that prevent you from doing it. Of course, I’m not suggesting you do anything against his will. However, I am suggesting that you find a way to make it happen without excuses strategizing with these tips to get after it.

Tip Six: Pray

Believe in your own dreams. Never wait for the validation of YOUR idea from him to be the reason why you start. Just start and get after it. Do what you need to do. You husband has his own journey and so do you. Work hard at it. You have been called to do certain things and you need to figure out how to make it happen. We can’t have this crutch that is “oh my husband doesn’t support me” and let that prevent you from doing it. Of course, I’m not suggesting you do anything against his will. However, I am suggesting that you find a way to make it happen without excuses strategizing with these tips to get after it.

Tip Seven: Be Direct

If you are struggling to have support from your husband and all these other things are going really well, as yourself this, have you asked him for his support? Have you flat out just asked him will he support you? He might say no, he might dismiss it-he might dismiss you. He might hurt you. Remember, that is on him. That is not on you. You are working to be a better you. All you can do is ask and move on.

Tip Eight: Inventory Yourself

This is the hardest tip and yet it may bring about the most change. Are you feeding the fire? Are you encouraging his behavior by being his mother instead of his partner? Do you find yourself so hungry for his love and his support that even when he gives you negative attention, you eat it up and play in to it? How do you respond to him? Are you overbearing? Do you emasculate him and strip him of the confidence he needs to be supportive?

This may be you! You have a lot of power over what happens in your life. You have to look inside. So much of what is happening to you is because of what you are doing yourself. This is hard and requires work. For me, I journaled and it took so much time but once I decided to let go of the back and forward and choose honor and respect and patience, things changed for me.

Connect with me!

There is so much beauty in each one of these 8 tips and I promise you that your dreams will be in your hands before you know it if you take the time to go back and look at which one of these you should be focusing on first and second and third in order to live out your dream.

Don’t forget to watch the FREE workshop for more info and deeper dive into this and also consider joining the free Facebook Community to ask any questions you may have about this information.

I hope you enjoyed these tips and I can’t wait to connect with you to hear about how they changed your life.

8 tips on how to pursue your dreams with no support as a work from home mom

Frequently Asked Questions

Need a little more help in the marriage department, are there any other blog posts on this topic?

So glad you asked! I created a 4 question system for myself for when I began feeling bitterness, frustration, and resentment towards my husband because I knew that’s what I could control to transform our marriage. Through this system you utilize your own power to make your marriage a team again and it helps set you up for success when difficult conversations need to be had. I really, truly hope this helps you but if you need a little more guidance and support from other work from home moms, my free Facebook community group is so ready for you to join us. Stay strong mama, we’re all rooting for you!

how to be your own cheerleader when going after your dreams
8 tips to pursue your dreams with no support from your husband

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