If only you could see how forcing yourself to do ALL THE THINGS in the name of being productive is the literal reason why you’re making absolutely zero progress, then maybe you’d slow down a bit. It’s likely one of the hardest conversations you will ever have with yourself, “what am I chasing?”
I promise you the outcome of today’s episode is so much more than a few practical tips. It’s an episode that has the potential to change your heart in ways you didn’t expect. Grab your favorite drink and press play momma. I’m excited for this one.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
The one thing that I want for everyone that comes across this is to know how to live with intention every single day. To not have to feel like they are caught up in the busy, to not have to feel like they are in a hurry 24/7. This will reveal some truths about why you are so busy all the time and why you are having a hard time slowing down.
What Is the Real Reason You Are So Busy?
I really want you to stop and think about how busy you are and why. A lot of you are coming to this blog and you are searching for time blocking or time management. It’s this chronic thing in motherhood right now and probably has been for quite some time. It’s this busy badge of honor, and I don’t want you to wear it at all. I want you to really take this in and ask yourself if you are wearing a busy badge of honor and why.
That is what I am going to dive into and break down. There are some hard truths about why you are keeping so busy. I don’t want you to get stuck for one more day, or watch your kids grow up without actually being connected to them. Or have five years of your marriage go by without actually learning to grow and flourish as a couple.
Right there, along with it, is just living in a home that you are constantly packing more things into. You are constantly buying more clothes, shoes, and makeup. You have to have the next best thing. Or you constantly have to have your kids in some kind of activity or multiple activities. Your kids don’t even know how to be slow. You are teaching your children this.
Why Can’t You Sit Still and Slow Down?
Your kids don’t know how to be un-entertained. You don’t either. That is why your phone is in your hand constantly. You are looking for constant stimulation. It’s really no fault of your own that you have gotten here, but it is your fault if you continue to go there. It is your responsibility to look at how you live your life daily.
I know you landed on this because how you live your life every day doesn’t feel right. That is why you are searching. Keep searching, keep looking, and keep asking questions. Keep looking towards the life that you want to live. I know that sounds so generic, but the truth is that you are searching, and you are listening.
Now it’s time for you to listen to yourself. It is time for you to ask what is really bothering you, what you are avoiding, and why don’t you like just to sit and be still. There is something that you are chasing, something you want your kids to be chasing.
What are you imposing? What are you chasing for your children? Why are you putting them in so many activities? Ask yourself why are you constantly going and buying brand-new clothes when you have a closet full. Why are you working towards things that are not fulfilling what you want your life to look like?
“Why are you working towards things that are not fulfilling what you want your life to look like?”
You Have Control Over How Productive You Are
It is a really hard question that only you know how to answer. I want you to know that you have control over everything. You have control over the act of being busy, the act of hustling, then feeling like a victim to your overwhelm. If you are having this visceral reaction to what you are hearing, don’t shut it down. Just realize you are being triggered for a good reason right now and run with it. You don’t have to do a whole 180 in your life. You can just start with the first thing that came to mind. The first thing that you think of when you say, what is running me ragged that is not producing a good outcome?
I get that sometimes it is survival. You are doing what you need to do to get through until….
You need to ask yourself what is that until? There needs to be a hard fast deadline for your survival mode. You need to talk about it with your family and put it on the calendar. When does the madness end, and when are you making a change? What does that look like, and what do you need to get there? This is where the visual representation of this whole thing came to me.
Get off The Busy Train and See Your Productivity Soar
I was sitting up north, and suddenly, I got this vision. A story started playing out in my mind. Sometimes we daydream, but it was just like this movie was playing out in my head. It was incredible. Do you know the log ride at Disneyland? For those of you who don’t know the log ride, it is this ginormous fake log that you sit inside surrounded by water. The log is on this track, and you go up, down, and around and at the end, water splashes in your face, and it’s so much fun.
When I sit down, and realize all these women are trying to get inside this log ride, and they are trying to bring four different oars, and they are trying to row through the log ride as fast as they can. They don’t understand why they aren’t going any faster. They are on a track that goes the pace it goes, but there they are, just rowing and rowing. You are literally on a path, it doesn’t matter how tirelessly you row; you can not do more to change the outcome. I know you are going to want to challenge that so hard. You are welcome to disagree with this, but I have been testing it throughout this entire business.
Remember to Enjoy the Ride of Life
I did it before, and it didn’t work at all. You have to let go. Here’s the thing, even if just a flood of water came behind you in that log ride, your log isn’t going to go any faster. You are still set on this track. You are supposed to be there on the log ride, sitting and enjoying it. Enjoy it when it’s thrilling, when it’s scary, when it’s peaceful, when it’s cold and when it’s hot.
You are just supposed to be sitting there taking it all in and accepting the things that are going on, doing your very best just to take it in. This is how you stay present, plugged in, and do your very best work.
Now, let’s be real. This isn’t actually a Disney ride. This is life, I know that. But it’s this vision of seeing you sitting in this log ride with all of your children and husband. Mom is the one standing up with all the oars, she’s got one ticked under her arm, one in each hand. She paddles on the right, paddles on the left, then she goes to the back and paddles from there, and she is just going every which way. She is trampling over children, sopping wet, mad at her husband because he’s not blocking the water for the kid, just a mess, paddling her mind out frantic, and nothing is happening. That is what I want you to stop doing.
Tap Into the Reason You Wake Up in the Morning
I get it. There is motherhood, marriage, your home and your business. But there must be a point where you realize you can’t be on two separate tracks simultaneously. You can’t make this go any faster than it actually goes. You need to have clear intentions behind why you wake up every day. It’s not just to be a chaperone, to make money to pay bills and to clean your house. That is not why you wake up every day. There is a reason why you wake up every single day whether or not you choose to tap into that or you choose to be busy is up to you. There is a huge difference.
You Need to Prioritize to be Productive
Sometimes, when you tap into that reason, you wake up. There is a lot of work to be done, but there is a huge difference. The point is for you to know what it is that you aim for and intend to do that day. It doesn’t have to be ALL THE THINGS. On the weekends in my life, I intend not to do all the things in my life that I do Monday through Friday. I have to shift gears, focus on my fundamental needs, and know when they need to be met. It’s important for me to know when I need to take time away from work, my house, and my children, at least once a week, to spend quality time with my husband. I know that has to happen in order for our marriage to succeed.
I also know that at least once a year, if not twice a year, we need to lay it all down for a weekend and be alone together to reconnect. That is really hard. It’s also really hard for me to constantly want new things to make me feel good about how I look or present myself. Looking at different pockets of my life, I know how hard it is to lay certain things down to be intentional. You can only know how to do that if you take the time to sit down and be quiet. Stop the noise. Sit in quiet every night or every morning and sit in gratitude.
Having a Conversation With Your Inner Self
Lately, I have completely stopped being on track with my health and fitness goals. It was causing me to make other decisions that made me feel like I was running around like crazy. I constantly wanted more of the wrong foods and picked apart the fine lines and parts of my body. This was making me that crazy mom. I heard that voice; you know that voice. I sat down and talked about that voice because that is not who I want to be. We had a conversation, and I made the decision that it is time for me to make her be quiet, which means I need to prioritize my health. Just allowing myself to manage myself and my time with my health has changed everything in me. It has made me feel more confident in what I am doing and how I am teaching my children.
Trying to Do All the Things Is Stopping Your Productivity
I know in order to live the life that I want, I have to be intentional right now. You are making no progress by forcing yourself to do everything to be productive. Whether it be something small and ridiculous, or something big and substantial, your business and your lifestyle depend on your business. So now you are trying to force everything on social 24/7, and hustling. If you get vulnerable and say, “I am going to honour my priorities and honour what I know I am intended to do, and I am going to lay down all these things that are not helping me get there,” it will feel scary and vulnerable. Trust that the path you are on and that track you are in will lead to the most thrilling log ride ever. When you get off, you will want to get right back on. I promise!
It’s a crazy thing, after almost two years of doing this business, I have had so much more success. Any other time I have tried to control the outcome of every single thing, I have not had success. I found success after giving myself to the process and showing up. When I was doing my best work, being organized, being intentional, and having a plan in place. I can only control how I show up today and how intentionally I live. How present I am and how full-heartedly I give myself over to this process.
Start Being Productive in Small Areas
Start being productive in small areas of your life. I have to pay attention to these things when I am making decisions. From moment to moment, day to day. It’s not a 180 swap or a fix-it-all-tomorrow kind of thing. It’s a bug in your ear to care about the progression. Care about the noise that is in your head and what it means. Listen to it and silence it. If there is anything that you are in control of, it’s that. You have complete control over the noise you hear in your head every day. You are constantly trying to control all of these other things by bringing more oars and paddling as fast as you can. That is not what you can control.
All you can control is how you sit on that boat, love the people you are around, take in the sights and smells, and process everything. Instead of trying to be busy and do everything, start trying to process it. Bring it in, sit on it, listen to it, then decide what is the next best thing you are supposed to do.
I look forward to seeing how this has changed your life in the Facebook group. You can also come check out the The Systemize Your Life Academy to add in systems to your home and business to be able just to enjoy the ride.