We all have dreams, ambitions, things that we are striving for, projects we want to complete, goals we want to crush, income we want to earn, houses we want to clean, and bodies we want to change. The list goes on and on. Yet we rarely have the ability to take a moment and slow down.
Truth be told, I am guilty as charged. This post has a lot to do with this incredibly intense wake-up call that I recently had. Today I will be writing about what has forced me to slow down, changed my heart and made me stop obsessing about all the things that need to be done.
I think you’ll learn a lot from all of the thoughts and lessons I have been processing. There may not be a whole lot of notes for you to take today. It might just be a day to sit back, relax, read, and let these thoughts settle in.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
A Wake-Up Call That Truly Made Me Slow Down
This post is going to be filled with some hard things and a lot of beautiful things at the same time. Today we’ll be talking about what has forced me to slow down and change my heart about what I’ve been obsessing about. I strive to achieve and always want to get work done. The to-do list needs to be done and I need to keep up with all the things. I do not want to fall far behind, and I want to do my best work in every area of my life, most days of the week. We’ve had a lot going on lately, and as the seasons change, you’ve also got a lot going on.
I am going to share a lot of personal information with you about what has forced me to have a moment of pause and what I am doing about it. What exactly is this wake-up call, what does it mean to me, and what does it look like going forward? I think you’ll be able to take that and learn from this message.
We’ve been having a lot of progress and fun in this new season of our life as we transition from one house to another, and my business has been growing and changing. I’ve talked about many different things and movements that I did not see coming in 2023.
The Invisible Pressure We All Have
My business has changed so much in 2023, and I did not see this coming. There are no complaints from me; my systems support me, and it has been a beautiful experience. Through this, I’ve noticed some pressure riding on me. I feel like it’s always ME and this pressure that is always hanging out together.
You’ve got to do all the things to try to do XYZ that you want to do, or you need to do, for your family. You want to and have the pressure to cook the meals, clean the house, enrich the kids’ lives, heal their alignments, support them, homeschool them, etc. Every single one of us is dealing with a wide variety of things, but for most of us moms, so much of that pressure rides on us.
Someday it just feels like a lot, no matter how much your systems are in place. I want you to know that I also have those days. I must help myself walk through the trenches and pull myself out of the depths. In those times, there are thoughts that I have. There are mistakes that I make, actions that I take, words that I say, attitudes that I give, resentfulness, and bitterness. There are things that I have to filter in my own life, just like you. For the most part, I feel like my systems are the filtration system I need.
How The Pressure Caused Me To Slow Down
In the last 3-4 months, when I really have been carrying so many beautiful things, there have been a few moments where the pressure has caused these fractures in my spirit, demeanour, and joy. It has caused me to pull back and question what that is about. What am I taking on that is causing this?
I take great pride in the authenticity of every single thing that I share. Every day I try to honour everything I teach because it truly is my spirit and love language. But I am human, just like you and through this whole process, some really hard things have come my way. Our family has dealt with some tragedy, loss, and personal things that have just been really, really hard.
Remembering the Incredible Spirit of Ellie Conklin
There is some news that I wanted to share with you all today. Unfortunately, I have some sad news for our entire community. The Systemize Your Life community, lost a near and dear friend, student and community member. Ellie Conklin was one of my students for a long time. She was on almost every single group call, and lifted the spirits of every single person around her. She made everyone laugh, and I felt so much joy when she came around.
Ellie had her own podcast, online community, mission, babies, and family and systems she was trying to implement. Unfortunately, Ellie’s life was taken very short and soon, and she suffered a major health emergency and passed on from this life into her next life.
Ellie is and was a completely and utterly fierce warrior for her faith, which has brought me so much joy in this process. Over the last several days of processing her incredibly beautiful life, spirit, and everything she had brought into our community, I could not stop thinking about all the things I am rushing, pushing, and striving for. How much do they really matter?
Ellie Taught Us to Slow Down
I think about her babies, her dreams, her mission and what was most important to her every single day. I heard her struggles, I watched her cry, laugh and grow every single day. What I know and what I can take away from her beautiful life was her incredible ability to slow down when she felt like she needed to truly. This looks different for every single person. I know Ellie just recently got rid of Instagram and paused from things that pressured her.
It’s Time To Reflect on What is Preventing You From Slowing Down
What I know puts pressure on me is this ideal that I am always trying to strive for. My systems allow me to execute tasks and be productive without thinking about it. Over the last several days, what I have been able to reflect on and truly given me a change of heart, is looking at the things that really are putting pressure on me.
It is what I am harbouring inside my heart and what I am processing in my thoughts. All of the things that upset me the most that I was most afraid of were not significant. In this past week, I have hugged my kids harder, kissed them more than I have in months and have been able to have conversations with them that I had a hard time being able to have with them. I’ve just had fun hanging out in times and scenarios where I would normally be stressed.
In a week in my life where I literally had zero time to get work done, I was okay with it. We are transitioning our family from one house to another, and guess what – my work blocks were completely obliterated.
What is The Hard Part of Your Personality?
I’m making the most of a situation that would have normally put so much pressure on me because I had a really rude awakening. Sometimes slowing down and not obsessing about what needs to be done doesn’t actually look like you are not producing more. For me, it means the racing in my head and heart needs to slow down.
“Sometimes slowing down doesn’t look like you are not producing more.”
Honestly, so much of what people see on the outside doesn’t look busy, it looks super calm, organized and systematic. But on the inside, I have to work hard to ensure I am just doing the low and slow. I have to make sure that I can slow down that constant desire to plan and create systems. This is the hard part of my personality, and you need to know the hard part of your personality.
Maybe you are the complete opposite. You could be emotional and constantly trying to get stuff done, and you won’t sit down, and maybe that is what you actually need to slow down in. Maybe what you need to speed up is the internal processing that you don’t want to touch with a 10-foot pool but you need to stop being so busy in order to get there.
Are You Honouring What You Believe In?
I have felt so inspired and moved by what I know from Ellie’s life. I’m taking a step back and asking what matters here. What matters is how I talk to my kids and the time I prioritize with my family. Knowing that we are prepared for emergencies and unforeseen circumstances that may come up. Are we honouring what we believe daily, following our hearts, and doing what we feel called to do? Those are the questions we need to be asking ourselves every single day. Not how and when am I going to get this done?
I understand that we have carved our lives to look the way they do, but the recent wake-up call that I felt you needed to hear said that none of that stuff actually matters.
Of course, I will continue to show up here and talk about managing everything. All of the things going on with your family and the time you need to complete the tasks you need are still important. But at the end of the day, knowing that you’ve shown up in a way that you feel proud of. At the end of the day, you said and did everything you know you are supposed to do in a meaningful way. You had the conversations, you gave the extra hugs, you poured into the people you were supposed to pour into you, and you were patient and kind. All of those things that really truly matter.
How You Can Help Ellie’s Family
I want you to know that in this situation, Ellie’s family is dealing with a lot. They are trying to come up with the means to provide for their family and relocate them so Ellie’s children can grow up with other family members around. They are in true need of not only prayer but also for finances. Everyone in our community is trying to rally together to support Elli’e family and not only remember her but give the family the support that they have.
If you are of any kind of faith please send a prayer over Ellie’s husband Jesse and their family. They would very much appreciate it. Also, if you would like to donate financially, you can go to chelsijo.co/give, and you can read a bit more about their family’s needs at this time. Anything is worth something to them in this incredibly difficult time.
I wanted to use this platform and my business in a meaningful way. My heart breaks in a small way that pales compared to what Ellie’s family is going through. After everything Ellie was able to give to our community, this is just a drop in the bucket as to what we can give back to her.
She so blessed us, and it is my hope and prayer that you are reading this can take just 5 small minutes and share in some way and support her family in some way. If nothing else, I hope you take away something that could help you pour into your family just a little bit deeper today and in the coming days.
Frequently Asked Questions
I'd like to help Ellie Conklin's family in anyway I can. How do I do that?
If you are of any kind of faith and would like to send a prayer, please do so over Ellie’s husband Jesse and their family. They would very much appreciate it. Also, if you have anything that you could financially donate that you feel called to give, you can go to chelsijo.co/give, and you can read a bit more about their family’s needs at this time. Anything is worth something to them in this incredibly difficult time.
