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Even The Most Fearless People In The World Have Fears

Everyone has fears. Even the most fearless people in the world have fears. They’ve just figured out a way to tackle their fears, get out from behind the chaos, and make stuff actually happen. There is a special, magical (not so magical) secret sauce to help you go through your life that way, too. I’ve spent the last decades of my life trying to figure out how to go beyond the fears my brain tells me I should listen to in order to stay safe. And to figure out how to break free of the daily rut I’m living in, to make big things happen.

In this blog post, I will be giving you a two-step plan so you can stop living in fear and hiding behind the chaos. Whatever that might look like for you. Your chaos and your fears are not the same as they were 5 years ago, and they will be different five months from now. It doesn’t mean we will completely get rid of our fears or our chaos, because these things continue to happen. It’s the world that we live in and we have to learn how to navigate it. 

Living In Fear Of Failing

The number one fear that I hear over and over again is the worry of failing. Fear of not being able to recoup money invested into starting a business. Trying something that doesn’t ever work out, lacking confidence, or you feel like you’ve neglected your kids with nothing to show for it. Or like you’ve completely burned yourself out trying to do it all, and you’re failing to meet work or family expectations. These fears keep all of us from trying, or getting up and trying again if we’ve had major setbacks before. I know I have and you probably have, too. It makes you even more timid, even more reluctant to move forward and try something new, or try something that you’re just not sure you can truly pull off. 

Rise Up, Face Your Fears, And Get Out From Behind The Chaos

These fears will manifest themselves in very different ways. But in today’s modern, fast-paced culture, women have subscribed to a false sense of identity through being extremely busy. The amount of time we pour into our kids and their activities… the never-ending to-do lists that keep us feeling helpful, selfless, productive. We work so hard. But at the end of the day what does it all really mean? When it looks like a tornado tore through your house, or when you feel like a piece of you is lost and you’re looking for purpose. Of course, our families and kids are our purpose and no one will ever take that away from us, but somehow it feels so exhausting and we just want more time with our kids. We all do. And then we’re trying to make money on top of it all!

We have a deep desire to nourish our children and ourselves. We want to give our talents to the world and make money while we’re at it. Absolutely. You know what this means? It means we’re going to have to rise up. You’re going to have to face your fears and you’re going to have to get out from behind the chaos.

Finding Clarity To Stop Living In Fear

I’m giving you the plan that I followed to get me where I am today. I stepped out from behind fears that honestly still try to sneak up on me, even now. You’re going to learn the exact systems I put in place so my chaos no longer holds on to me. I really wish I could overcomplicate this for you, but it really is quite simple. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very difficult. It’s hard, and some of you won’t do it. There are lots of people in the world who won’t do hard things for various reasons, but we are up against challenges every single day of our lives.

The one thing we don’t need getting in our way is a lack of clarity on what we’re supposed to do and when to do it. Those are the simple things in life. And if we can just get rid of all the excess that we don’t need to be filtering through, then when we come up against something that truly is hard we’ll have the capacity to deal with it. 

Step 1: What Are You Afraid Of?

So here we go. Here’s the first thing that I did and I want you to write this down. On a piece of paper, you need to ask yourself, “What are you afraid of?”. You have to know what you’re afraid of and then share it with other people. I think the very first time I became physically aware of what my fear was, it was almost like something I could touch and something I could actually see. Not just a feeling. I became aware of it while sitting in a room with two friends, and I had the idea to start this business. 

I’ve learned so many methods from years of being involved in leadership and different experiences throughout my adolescence. I also picked up on different things when I was doing my wedding business and really started getting into entrepreneurship. I learned about setting goals, goal planning, and breaking them down into projects. Then I created a system for how to do that, which is what I teach in my group coaching program. 

How Much Money Do You Want To Make?

That day with my friends, I had everyone go through this workbook. Then we clipped things out of magazines and papers, and created a visual representation of our dreams. One thing we all did was decide how much money we wanted to make in a year from our business. I wrote down $10,000 and I was terrified to show it to anyone. I was almost too terrified to even write it down. Actually, I still have that planner I wrote it in, and I share it sometimes when I teach live workshops. I still marvel at the audacity I had in that moment to believe it was even possible for me. 

I got to where I am now because I stepped out from behind that fear. Because I was terrified of making a claim and then not being able to follow through. That’s probably been my biggest fear all along. And being able to share it with other people is one of the best things I’ve ever done. It made me work so hard because I didn’t want my fears to become reality.

When we don’t share our fears with other people and we keep them to ourselves, it’s easy to keep hiding. We hide behind all these things we take on. We’re going to talk about that next, but let me tell you how the story ended. I made $12,000 in my first year of doing business which is amazing. The extra $1,000 a month didn’t exactly go towards my family, but I used it to set the foundation of this business. I truly did not think I could do it. I just felt like $10k was the number I wanted to see and it felt so outlandish!

Step 2: What Do You Need To Let Go Of To Stop Living In Fear?

So that’s what I want you to do. Figure out what you’re really afraid of, then you need to ask yourself some difficult questions. Who or what are you committed to right now that you have to let go of? What are the things that you have committed to that are absolutely running you ragged? Is there anything you can start saying no to? What kinds of foods are you eating? Do you have lifestyle changes that need to happen? What kind of relationships do you have with friends, family members, your spouse and your children? Think about the types of books you’re reading, music you’re listening to, tv shows you’re watching. Think honestly about what you need to let go of. Sometimes the smallest things can make such a huge impact. 

I ask myself these questions often because it’s a process you have to get good at. You have to become very comfortable with letting things go if you want to continuously make progress. It’s how you will reach your goals, grow your business, spend more time with your family, and have what you truly desire.

Sharing Your Fears To Find Clarity

Some of you reading this are going to act and others won’t. Some of you are going to take action right now and write down what you’re afraid of. You’re going to come post in my Facebook group or text it to your business best friends. Share it with your husband the next time the kids are in bed, when it’s on your heart. Sharing will help you become very clear on what you need to let go of in your life, so fear your doesn’t become a reality. It’s communicating to you exactly what you need to do and it’s so important for us to listen to that intuition. Whatever is being spoken to you is not by accident and you have to listen.